We have 2 dogs and I can hear both of them making the same requests as listed below....
Dear God: It's me, the Dog.
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Crysler Beagle?"
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. BOTH of my dogs love to do this when we go to the cottage by the lake.
3. The Litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a "face towel".
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "Hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house----not after.
10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a "squeaky toy".
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?