PATRICIAANN46
750,000-999,999 SparkPoints 910,352
SparkPoints
 

Dog's Prayer

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

We have 2 dogs and I can hear both of them making the same requests as listed below....

Dear God: It's me, the Dog.

Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same, only in reverse?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Crysler Beagle?"

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:

1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. BOTH of my dogs love to do this when we go to the cottage by the lake.

3. The Litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a "face towel".

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "Hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house----not after.

10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a "squeaky toy".

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

emoticon emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
 

More Blogs by PATRICIAANN46