Some changes are harder than others
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Do you like changes? How do you deal with change? I think the answers to those questions lie in the reasons for the changes. If change is forced upon you it can be very difficult, to say the least. If you initiate the change after much deliberation, it can be very useful, profitable, and even comfortable. sometimes change is forced upon you, however, by circumstances, and you are not prepared for it. I think that is the worst of all. You've had no prior preparation either mentally, physically or even sometimes, emotionally for it. There is another change that comes about through circumstances after much procrastination. That's when the dreaded Sword of Androcoles falls upon you. A close family member is going through the latter right now, and I am in danger of being dragged in as a caretaker, and it's not someplace I want to go. The worst part for me is that I want to rescue, as that is my nature, but can't allow myself to go there because it's unhealthy for me to do so. I just can't return to codependency. That helped to get me to 200 pounds overweight. It's where I was taught and expected to go all of my life. I'm different now, and I need to let the other person learn from their mistakes, choices, and procrastination. How will they ever learn to meet problems head on, to face off the enemy, to speak up for themselves, and feel the power of victory in those areas if I don't allow them to go there?
At first I was really upset, but now I'm settling down and sorting through things, as I try to advise and help the other person face those demons that I faced and confronted so long ago now, and sometimes still do. There are some mountains you have to climb one foot at a time because there's just no easy way to go. The weird and ironic thing is that I have very few people to talk to about this without compromising the other person, so I have to blog in the public domain where I can remain somewhat anonymous!
I need to be very careful about my food choices right now because that's my comfort zone. I've also begun an extensive crochet project for myself, and don't even mind when I have to pull out a row to redo it because it keeps me busy! Normally, that would make me nuts! So please pray for me and the other person that I care so much about but need to take hands-off for now.