The Biggest Realization of My Life

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Today I was hungry around 10 am ( a little unusual for me lately) I had a handful of sunflower seeds and went on my way. At 12:30 ish I ate a lunch that consisted of a cup of light soup and half of a sandwich. I then got really shaky like my blood sugar was low, which happened around 3:30. I had two chocolate chip protein cookies. It satisfied me for the time being and I knew I would be fine until I could get home and fix dinner. When I got home all hell broke lose. Although this last hour or so has been a blessing in disguise. I have an eating disorder Unfortunately for me it isn't anorexia ( I know this isn't something I should "kid" about!)

I binge eat and it has gotten me to where I am now, and today I have finally had my ah-ha moment. I literally ate so much I had to make myself throw up because i felt so sick. It is disgusting and I am ready to change now more than ever. The people I would normally run to with a problem like this have no idea. I will tell them and they will support me but for now I need to take it in a realize how big of a problem I truly have.

I did not track all of my food today because I was shoving it in my mouth all too quickly but I know now I need to meal plan and carry healthy snacks with me. It will take time and many many baby steps but I know now what the problem is and have finally accepted it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think it shows you are incredibly strong to be able to post about something so brutal and honest! The last 2 weeks I was on a downward spiral and shoving anything and everything in my mouth, not tracking, and avoiding the gym like the plague. I made the decision yesterday to get my butt in gear and I've tracked my food so far; tomorrow I'll be back at the gym :) We'll get through these down times, learn from them, and come back stronger and with open eyes! Good luck!!!
    2749 days ago
    It sounds like you're not really eating enough during the day, which could lead to bingeing at night! I binge when I don't space out my meals properly, (ever 3-4 hours, at least, of around 300-400 calories,) and then I start to get hungry and nothing satisfies me!
    2750 days ago
    Congrats on your ah ha moment and good luck!!
    2755 days ago
    “In life you need either inspiration or desperation.”

    y Robbins

    emoticon emoticon
    2756 days ago
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