ANDIERUSSELL

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The Biggest Realization of My Life

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Today I was hungry around 10 am ( a little unusual for me lately) I had a handful of sunflower seeds and went on my way. At 12:30 ish I ate a lunch that consisted of a cup of light soup and half of a sandwich. I then got really shaky like my blood sugar was low, which happened around 3:30. I had two chocolate chip protein cookies. It satisfied me for the time being and I knew I would be fine until I could get home and fix dinner. When I got home all hell broke lose. Although this last hour or so has been a blessing in disguise. I have an eating disorder Unfortunately for me it isn't anorexia ( I know this isn't something I should "kid" about!)

I binge eat and it has gotten me to where I am now, and today I have finally had my ah-ha moment. I literally ate so much I had to make myself throw up because i felt so sick. It is disgusting and I am ready to change now more than ever. The people I would normally run to with a problem like this have no idea. I will tell them and they will support me but for now I need to take it in a realize how big of a problem I truly have.

I did not track all of my food today because I was shoving it in my mouth all too quickly but I know now I need to meal plan and carry healthy snacks with me. It will take time and many many baby steps but I know now what the problem is and have finally accepted it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AZVIKAS
    I think it shows you are incredibly strong to be able to post about something so brutal and honest! The last 2 weeks I was on a downward spiral and shoving anything and everything in my mouth, not tracking, and avoiding the gym like the plague. I made the decision yesterday to get my butt in gear and I've tracked my food so far; tomorrow I'll be back at the gym :) We'll get through these down times, learn from them, and come back stronger and with open eyes! Good luck!!!
    2749 days ago
  • THELOVELYBIRD
    It sounds like you're not really eating enough during the day, which could lead to bingeing at night! I binge when I don't space out my meals properly, (ever 3-4 hours, at least, of around 300-400 calories,) and then I start to get hungry and nothing satisfies me!
    2750 days ago
  • SHELLYGON321
    Congrats on your ah ha moment and good luck!!
    2755 days ago
  • HAPPY-DESTINY
    “In life you need either inspiration or desperation.”



    Anthon
    y Robbins

    emoticon emoticon
    2756 days ago
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