The Biggest Realization of My Life
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Today I was hungry around 10 am ( a little unusual for me lately) I had a handful of sunflower seeds and went on my way. At 12:30 ish I ate a lunch that consisted of a cup of light soup and half of a sandwich. I then got really shaky like my blood sugar was low, which happened around 3:30. I had two chocolate chip protein cookies. It satisfied me for the time being and I knew I would be fine until I could get home and fix dinner. When I got home all hell broke lose. Although this last hour or so has been a blessing in disguise. I have an eating disorder Unfortunately for me it isn't anorexia ( I know this isn't something I should "kid" about!)
I binge eat and it has gotten me to where I am now, and today I have finally had my ah-ha moment. I literally ate so much I had to make myself throw up because i felt so sick. It is disgusting and I am ready to change now more than ever. The people I would normally run to with a problem like this have no idea. I will tell them and they will support me but for now I need to take it in a realize how big of a problem I truly have.
I did not track all of my food today because I was shoving it in my mouth all too quickly but I know now I need to meal plan and carry healthy snacks with me. It will take time and many many baby steps but I know now what the problem is and have finally accepted it.