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Changes! Week 4 BSG Challenge Sparks Team

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

This week we were told to blog about whatever we wanted to blog about. I have chosen to blog about the changes I have gone through since my husband passed away in February.

Likd most widow's I had to make a good deal of adjustments with my husbands death. For the first time in 22 years I was alone and that was a scary thought. I also lost half my income at the same time. Fortunately, we had taken out life insurance several years ago just enough to handle funeral expenses and pay off our debts. This way I could start with a clean slate.

I was also fortunate that a close friend of mine and Ray's offered to share her home with me. We have many things in common and yet enough differences that we are not in each others way all the time. I might have been a little doubtful about the arrangement at first. We both have seemed to make the adjustment that living together is good. Our pets (3 dogs and 2 cats) get along well together.

From the end of February to the first of June, I kept myself busy so that I didn't take time to grieve for my loss. I had been visited several times from Missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Instead of telling no I wasn't interested. I kept putting them off before committing to sitting down with them. Then in June I came down with the flu and was sick for a week with the flu. The second week I was over the flu. Unfortunately I didn't feel like getting out of bed or doing much of anything. My roommate called my sister in Dallas. The two of them took me to the doctor. After looking me over and talking to me. She came out an asked how I was handling my grief. It finally dawned on me that was my problem. I hadn't taken the time to deal with my grief. I am now taking a mild anti depressant and hopefully soon will be off of them.

A couple of weeks later the Missonaries were back to see how I was doing. I set a time and date for us to meet. I am happy to say that I have become a member of the Mormon Church in August. I feel very blessed that the Missonaries didn't give up on me. When I was about to give up on myself.

Also another great change since June is that I have lost a total 20lbs. I am happy to be averaging 5lb loss a month. I know if I can do it so can others.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DBELLE39
    Debbie, you have done exceptionally well in such a short time. emoticon Congrats on the 20# loss, you have proven than even in the midst of an emotional trauma, you have overcome! You give many hope.
    3082 days ago
  • ZACEVETOB
    Hugs great you found great changes through faith, i was an LDS. Still kind of in heart but i don't go to church anymore. My favourite book is Alma. Great bunch they are.
    3082 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5651955
    I've thought of you often since I heard that Ray had died. It's given me a greater appreciation of my husband, and I often imagine what it would be like were he not here. I honestly don't know how I would handle it. I'm glad that you finally found the time to grieve and have found a church, and someone to live with. I think that would be my greatest concern...living alone, even with having pets.
    Blessings to you.
    Susan
    3082 days ago
  • AT49THISIS4ME
    debbie i am so gladyou are getting on with your life and all that weight loss, wow emoticon in your writing ican sense you are on the road to that happy place you so deserve i know i would never be as brave as you have been in these last months
    3083 days ago
  • BARBIE176
    emoticon on making the adjustments that have been required by your unwanted change in life. emoticon on losing 20 lbs. That is just so awesome and I am truly happy for you. You have been making some great changes in your life! I am so happy that your roommate and your sister got you the help you needed and you have finally been able to start that grieving process. It surely takes a long time, but starting the process is defintely progress! So happy that the Missionaries didn't give up and you have made a decision that you seem to be very happy with. I am glad you and your roommate have both decided that this is a doable situation as a cut in one's income would definitely be more than a little scary. Praise God that you had the foresight to get life insurance to cover the funeral and debts! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3083 days ago
  • JEN_BACK2BASICS
    Congrats on your 20 pounds gone! That's a great accomplishment, and a nice maintainable way to lose. I'm glad you are allowing yourself to grieve and are developing a new support circle.
    emoticon
    3083 days ago
  • -WRKNG2ABTTRME-
    Congrats on the loss of 20 lbs! emoticon

    Although I haven't experienced the loss of my dh as you have, so, I can't say I know how you feel....I'm glad that you are involved and finding ways to deal with the grief that is involved.

    emoticon
    3083 days ago
  • LMB-ESQ
    emoticon on that 20 lb loss!

    I'm glad you are coming to terms with your husband's loss and finding ways to move forward. Best wishes to you!
    3083 days ago
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