my (2nd) blog
Thursday, October 04, 2012
So this is my second blog today and I know I wont get the points for it, its still all good.
I am so angry with myself tonight and as usual, I know my decisions lately have been ill conceived, ill advised, whatever you want to call them.
While I walk and do my strength training as much as I can, my other, mostly food, choices are so questionable its pitiful!!!
I had a decent walk this morning, followed by protein of eggs, and then a light lunch of beans and a slice of lean pork...not too bad.
Then I went to visit a friend, for what I thought would probably turn out to be an hour of just visiting, but turned into a three hour beer drinking session....while I think I drank 6 to her 6...I got pretty hammered and with bad thoughts of other bad decisions dancing in my head, I have just decided I am going to write today, heck, maybe the whole week off as a loss.
My other best friend goes for his pretrial conference hearing tomorrow morning, at 930 am, I have been asked, by him, to attend, And I totally plan on doing so.
But there are a hundred other places I would rather be....getting a pap smear, getting a root canal, having tires put on my 18 wheeler....(just joking)....but he is my friend and he is going thru enough stress without me being selfish.
So, I will try to pick myself up from a possible, although, hope not, hangover, and go walking for an hour in the morning, before driving the 20 miles to the courthouse to be there to show him support.
And smile on cue!!!
Then I plan, and not just plan, but WILL will myself to make some very long overdue changes.
Like really really increasing my strength and really pushing harder, and really increasing my protein, again, and making sure I get my water and veggies and no alcohol.
I have to take control of my own life and decisions and I am ready to stop giving my power away.