Disappearing Act

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Yesterday my lovely Sparkfriend MERRIKATE reminded me that it's been over a month (!) since I last blogged and asked me for an update - and she's not the only one who's asked how I've been lately. And I know that I owe you guys pictures. I've got some good recent ones of me but the babies' sonograms are getting more boring because they're too big to photograph at the same time.

The unvarnished truth: the last month has been HARD. And when things get hard, I pull back into myself and go incommunicado so I had no idea that it had been so long since I blogged or posted photos.

All is well. My 24 week appointment was excellent and all three of us are growing apace. The babies are big enough now that if the unthinkable happened there is a very good chance the doctors could save them. Yes, I think about these things. And no, it doesn't stress me out. To the contrary, it's a comfort. The trouble with a perfectly normal, textbook twin pregnancy - especially over the age of 30 - is that it gets downright uncomfortable for mama. And much earlier than you'd think. The past month has brought me difficulty in eating, sleeping, walking, and standing. My acid reflux is newly and barely under control, as is my back/hip/glute pain. But I'm taking the most powerful over-the-counter antacid and wearing the most intense maternity support belt I can find. If they begin to fail me over the next 3-11 weeks I have left I don't know what else I can try. Here's hoping I don't have to find out!

The state of my house is also making me crazy, particularly in the past few days. My husband started a massive renovation project 2.5 years ago that he only got serious about after I got pregnant. At 27 weeks we still don't have electricity, air conditioning, heat, or plumbing, let alone walls and floors, in the space intended for our bedroom, bathroom, and nursery. My due window is 30-38 weeks - a mere three weeks away! And I've had two baby showers at which friends and family were extremely generous (twins seem to bring that out in people). The living room looks like a Babies R Us exploded in there - we don't have a place for any of the things we received. So I started a long, slow meltdown on Saturday and have been hounding my husband since then. And he didn't seem to get it. I'm so stressed and sick of the situation that last night I couldn't sleep for thinking about it. So I got up and drew up a comprehensive plan. 2 or 3 girlfriends are coming by on Sunday to help me rearrange the existing space - one bedroom, an office, a small living room, and a tiny kitchen, so that we can house, feed, bathe, and generally care for two tiny humans, two big humans, and two cats. In 700 square feet. It's been done before and I know we can do it, too. I left my husband a list of things that need to go to a basement and a four-item honey do list. He worked on basement organization to make room for the stuff I want down there for now and started on the honey do list. He also said he wants to go over the plan I made last night. Having him finally on board and helping makes me feel, oh, a zillion times better.

The upside to all this is that the babies are getting noticeably bigger and stronger. DH can now feel them through his belly when we snuggle and people can see them moving from across the room. The bad news is that they have started to put serious pressure on me and Blueberry has gotten up under my rib cage. She also pushes against one particular spot when she thinks I've been standing or walking too long - to the point that it's tender to the touch. I'm pretty sure she's bruised me from the inside. Even the positive things come with a downside these days. [sigh]

I talked to my doctor and my HR department and we are going to cut my hours back to 30 hours a week; I simply can't keep up with a full time schedule anymore. I'm too tired and uncomfortable. Because I'm doing this at doctor's orders I can use the medical leave bank and still keep my full time benefits and pay, which is wonderful. We're hoping to gradually scale back my work tour and avoid bed rest altogether. DH has told me to stop thinking and talking about bed rest because I will cause it to come to pass. I retorted that 70% of moms of multiples end up on bed rest and that if the weather forecast called for a 70% chance of rain he'd bring an umbrella. Thusly I am preparing. That shut him up, lol.

Some days are better than others. Today was a pretty good day - I was productive at work and even went for a short walk. But even on good days everything is just harder than it used to be. Which is fine because this will all be worth it eventually. The process sucks, though, and I hate to complain. And since I don't have much else to talk about, I've been keeping it to myself (and DH and two mommy mentors). But as MERRIKATE pointed out, we're here to support each other. So I should pop by more often even if things are rough. At the very least you can try to make me feel better. :)

Drop by my page and let me know how all of you are doing!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I just came across your blog and you are such a strong mama already! I have four kids, my last one came at a surprising 30 weeks. The things doctors can do are truly amazing and I shared the nicu with 23 week twins who left happy and healthy just tiny right after we left. Have faith and don't let stress of your house get to you. I lived in a renovation nightmare for nearly a year and it drove me crazy and I wasn't even pregnant so I can only imagine how you are coping. Just remember that babies have tons of stuff but they really just need diapers and mommy and daddy to snuggle them for the first bit. :) don't let the other stuff infringe on the joy of having them. You will make it! Just eat tums like candy and sit whenever you can! Looking forward to your upcoming blog posts!
    3095 days ago
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    YA, love the update. Looking forward to seeing a few photo's!
    3095 days ago
    Wellllllllll worth the wait, this blog, JenJess, you Trooper you! Warms me all over to read of the details of this stage of your wait for the duo to be born. Doubled discomforts of body and emotions quite par for the course AND 'exhausticating'!

    Admirable solutions to the space dilemma, too -- and that kind of adjustment will naturally be an ongoing thing as the new area becomes functional and the little girls grow. Newborns do not require much room at first, and watch this: when Daddikins falls in love with his tiny daughters at first sight and first embraces, that construction work may just go a whole lot faster!

    I am going to be shameless and beg you to blog every week, or post a short bulletin twice a week, 'cause we DO want you to share the challenges. Even daily would be lovely, eh ... -- speaking for myself, I am hopelessly nosy about it all -- both so that I can send you unceasing & specifically-targeting support-vibes and so that I can imagine your feeling better for putting the facts out here.

    And the long-awaited photos too -- MERCI BEAUCOUP for taking the trouble to get them up here. Love 'em, and You too.

    3095 days ago
    can't wait to see pictures of those twins. Two friends just had twins a week apart seems like more are happening these days
    3095 days ago
    Pictures!!! I'm glad you seem to be coping and dealing with regular life stress on top of two baby stress. Almost there! I'm so excited to see these two beauties :)
    3096 days ago
    emoticon PS -- Keep "baking" those twins as long as possible! Blueberry sounds like a handful already. Until she knew it was a girl, my daugher called her fetus "Tad" short for Tadpole. You guys -- way to have fun and enjoy the experience! My daugher is 32 and I'm so excited for those of you who REALLY wait until you are ready and can enjoy.
    3096 days ago
    Thank you SO MUCH for your update! Keep your chin up, even in the worst of circumstances it's only 3/4 of a year; WELL WORTH the blessings that are coming your way!

    My daughter is pregnant (as I keep telling you!) and you've given me a preview of what's to come. She only is pregnant with one, and we found out this week it's a girl!! They will name her Rebecca Joyce.

    What great family and friends you have! TOYS R US in your living room isn't a bad thing with twins! emoticon
    3096 days ago
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