Yes, I can now say it, weigh in day has come and I have lost 51 pounds, since May 24th.
I began recording my weight more closely on that day, when I had gone to the doctor and had reached an all time high weight.
I had gained back about 15 pounds that I had lost over the winter from last October.
And had discussed once again the possibility of going back to the bariatric surgeon.
But I went home that day and decided now is the time to take control of my life, and of myself.
And so the story continues.
I am no where even close to my final goal weight. Which seems to fluctuate, I was asked recently if I could reach any weight I wanted what would it be....well, before I might have said 115.
That seems like a good number for me.
Then maybe I would have been a little more realistic and said 135....which, by the way, isnt out of the question yet.
But right now, I will say to lose another pound, another day of working hard and focusing on health and good food choices.
I dont have any grand number in my head right now.
I really do jump back and forth on the numbers.
People come up to me all the time and say, how much weight have you lost...It is still almost hard to believe when it comes out of my mouth.
Even when it was 11 pounds
or 28 pounds....it just sounded bizarre!!!
But I keep walking. I have decided the cold and wind and rain and ice and snow and sleet will sideline me, but not kick me out of the game.
I am bringing the old treadmill back to the spare bedroom and will use it if need be.
I hate that thing and I hate walking inside because part of my love of walking has gotten to be the fact that I am outdoors, and even on cool chilly days, I WALK.
I had allowed myself to begin to become depressed over the cold weather coming and was so dreading having to stay inside and not be able to walk.
But I finally told myself, its just a speedbump...its just stumbling block, its not a wall, and you can get around it and over it.
So, I am feeling pretty good, I will finally be forced to get onward with my weights and toning and learning some new ab workouts which I really need.
The little changes are the wildest....looking at pics of myself from a few months ago, with double chin mania....haha, now I see pics of myself and there is a neck there, there is my shoulders you can see.....
I have an old pair of knit pants I wear around the house and now the crotch hangs to my knees, I cant keep them up....they are going into the trash.
I can cross my legs....well, still a little bit, but when you have short short legs, its still hard to do.
I no longer fear going into most restaurants, not that I go into that many, but I dont fear being in a booth so tight I cant breath and am laying on the table.
Just these little things.
Here is something I wanted to share with all....my son who I have talked about is in NA.
Some of you may know their mantra....JUST FOR TODAY. I have adopted that for myself, even though drugs arent my addiction.
But he has inspired me so much to get off my addiction and take charge of my own destiny.
I no longer dread any day. I dread parts of it....and sometimes the day can take a swift turn in seconds from good to bad or bad to good.
But I live each day now for today.