A gift to myself
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
2012 has been a hell of a year. My weight continued to go up, my relationship with my fiance fell apart, and I basically lost my entire identity. I wasn't sure I'd survive. Yes, I knew I'd physically survive, but I didn't know if I'd survive emotionally. I did. I'm a survivor. I've survived death, heartbreak, rape...and now it's time for me to focus on me.
I have a renewed sense of self and a renewed desire to be the happiest, healthiest version of myself. I deserve it. My friends and family deserve it. My birthday is tomorrow (26th) and this is my gift to myself. I'm going to fight and claw my way to a better life. It's been hard so far but I haven't given up and will NOT give up until I have succeeded.
So I'm trying to come up with little rewards for every 10 lbs I lose. I need to lose 100 more lbs to be at my goal weight, so I need 9 smaller goals. My final reward is going to be a brand new wardrobe...bras, underwear, lingerie, jeans, pants, dresses, SHOES...everything. Do you guys have any suggestions? Oh, just so you know, I'm not a spa/massage person, but anything else you suggest would be helpful.
I'm also going to try to write more. I'm going to continue to blog and write in my journal. I know it seems rather redundant, but sometimes the physical act of writing is very cathartic. Besides, maybe I'll try to sell the story of my weight loss journey and romantic trials ;) You know, Bridget Jones-style! I've certainly had enough drama to write a book!
I want to thank anyone who reads my blogs for allowing me to have an outlet for my emotions. Holding my emotions in was what helped lead me to being fat in the first place and I never want to do that again.
I hope everyone has had an amazing holiday season!