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a ton of bricks fell on my head this morning

Sunday, December 30, 2012

It's cold and snowy here in Northeast Ohio, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I don't like snow at all....

I lay in bed this morning and felt angry, upset, unhappy and wondering what the heck I might do today to get through to night time and I can go back to bed...Yesterday I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself....I miss my home, friends and job, blahh blahhh blashhh I have been reliving these thoughts for over 5 months.....enough already...I am tired of feeling down.....

Then this morning it hit's time to take control of my life, I have to start thinking what is right here, what is good here....I am here to stay, my home was sold, my things are gone...why waste time dwelling on something that will never be.....
Time to wake up and enjoy what life I have left to live, I had always thought of moving back to be closer to my family.....we I got what I wanted, never thought it would be this hard to get along.....
they are not who I thought they were and guessing I'm not what they thought starting today and for the rest of my life I am going to so what Spark People has taught me to do.....think positive, find the good , I am going to start my list of 3 things that were good about being here...I am turning off the negative tapes about the cold , snow, people, crowds higher costs.....I am going to rejoice in all I have....I have a loving man by my side, I have a warm home and plenty to eat, I have the opportunity to shop most any and every store I use to think about....I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with living....I need to engage myself in finding a new way of life...

So my 2013 will be a better time in my life....we have to find a house yet and we are still looking, and will before we have to move from this many feeling are dancing in my head, I need to think positive about more than just loosing the 10 pounds I gain.....there is more to life than loosing weight....

Have a healthy and happy New Year.....sorry so long winded.....but feeling much better knowing I can move on and find happiness where ever I am....

I am strong and healthy and can do what ever I set my mind to do.....

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Excellent blog, Kitt. You had some big changes in 2012 and not all that you wanted, and it's hard to feel positive about stuff like that. Grief is as normal for these types of losses as it is for losing people or pets. At some point, though, you have to choose to focus on the positive or continue dwelling on the negative. You keep choosing the positive focus and gosh it looks good on you! You've had so much energy and gone so far while focusing on the positive, and you already know that will help you keep moving ahead and remain successful. Yes, it's normal to look back with sadness at some of the losses in our lives. After reminiscing, we then need to focus forward again on the positive and keep moving. You are doing it, Kitt. You rock and I applaud you. Hugs!
    2516 days ago
    You always inspire me and I am thankful for your blog! Keep on being an inspiration emoticon

    You will overcome your "down feelings" you have now because you have proved how strong you are! emoticon

    HAPPY NEW YEAR! emoticon
    2517 days ago
    emoticon New moves and changes of any kind are not easy.... it will get better as time goes on. Don't be hard on yourself... these feelings are normal, and you know that now is the time to move on in different direction with your thoughts etc....
    Sounds like you are on the right path..... thinking of your new home search will be such fun and you will be settled in before your know it. Yes, think positive - turning off those negative tapes is the best thing you can do for yourself.... remember....move forward with those happy things going on in your life and the rest will take care of itself.
    You will become involved with the community there and make new friends, too... maybe take a craft class of some sort.. I know you are talented with so many things. It will all work out just fine. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Have a wonderful day, Kitt, and a fantastic New Year!! {{{Hugs}}}
    2517 days ago
    Reading this I was thinking is there a possibility to move back? If not, change is hard but it is possible. I like how you are going to change your way of thinking to being more positive. I wish the best for you in the New Year. You will get those 10 lbs off again.
    2517 days ago
    wishing you a great new year kitt and i hope things will look better soon

    2517 days ago
    LIFE IS A GARDEN --- DIG IT!!!!!

    Don't you just love this!!!

    Happy New Year to You and yours.

    We will make it a great year.

    Hugs Mary
    2517 days ago
    Happy New Year! Great blog. emoticon
    2518 days ago
  • JANE1216
    Thanks Kitt, for a great blog --- words I needed to read and coulda typed myself. I am so glad I stopped by b/c you put it all right here and no beatin' around the bush --- getting to the point --- telling it like it is! And I've even gained motivation from all the wonderful comments from all the beautiful spark people ---- again, thank you!

    Cheers to a positive 2013 --- time to get over whatever it is and get movin' -- LIFE IS A GARDEN --- DIG IT!!!!!

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    2518 days ago
    Thank you for that eye opening blog! I feel exactly the same way. There are so many things out of my control, but the ones I have in control....I haven't done a thing to change them lately. Enough already! I started a few days ago (12/27) and I am feeling more like me again.
    Thanks for the inspiration. It gives me hope.
    PS: the snow will eventually go away. Same way I feel about the rain here in Oregon. It gets old fast!!!! LOL emoticon

    2518 days ago
    You are a good looking woman
    - you have a very special Leah in your life
    -you have helped countless people here and around you.
    -you have a wonderful smile that I would love to see in person
    need I go

    love you Kitt

    Happy 2013 my Spark Friend

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    2518 days ago
  • DRB13_1
    can commiserate - I was thinking just this morning that family can stress me out and adversely affect my health, and that's sad. But on the plus side, I have mindfulness practice, LOTS of gratitude, and a space to retreat to when I need some alone time. And today is a new day - full of possibilities.
    So carry on and keep your heart open
    And the OSU sweatshirt sure brings back memories - my daughter was born there
    2518 days ago
    Change is not easy that's for sure. We just need to adapt to the changes. Sometimes it just takes time and an open mind. Time to find new friends, maybe find a part-time job, or do volunteer work. You can do it, Kitt!!! We're here for you!!


    2518 days ago
    Change is not easy that's for sure. We just need to adapt to the changes. Sometimes it just takes time and an open mind. Time to find new friends, maybe find a part-time job, or do volunteer work. You can do it, Kitt!!! We're here for you!!


    2518 days ago
    Kitt, I know I would find it very hard to move back to Ohio from Arizona. And family never is what we remember. Times change and so do people. But you have the right idea; start 2013 with positive thoughts. You will get there as you are a special and strong person.

    2518 days ago
  • CHANSEN_20001
    Kitt, we live in Florida and don't understand the snow thing, but I will hope it will pass soon. I know this is the beginning of winter, so I will pray for a mild one for you.

    Take care,

    Your friend from Florida,

    2518 days ago
    Kitt, I am rooting for you and here anytime you need support. I can understand a bit how you feel. When I had to move from Florida in 2007, it devastated me and I let it affect my life for YEARS. It wasn't until this past March that I forced myself to get over it. I'm proud of you for pushing yourself NOW to start enjoying your life. I wasted 5 years living in the past, I'm glad you're not going to do that.
    2518 days ago
    Great blog! Isn't it surprising how much better we can feel about things when we just take the time to change our thoughts and some of the "old" ways we have come to look at things? May plenty of success come your way in 2013 ~ especially in finding a new house to call home!

    New Year's Blessings to you!
    2518 days ago
    Kitt, I wish you the very happiest of the New Year! emoticon
    2518 days ago
    emoticon blog! emoticon
    2518 days ago
    2518 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    I need to do the same. So easy to focus on the negative.
    2518 days ago
  • ENERGY4777
    Kitt, I am patting you on the back, you are strong and this is so inspiring to so many of us, good for you!!! I just loved your thoughts! It helps me and I am sure it helps many of us! We all need to do this! emoticon
    All is well!
    2518 days ago
    Awww Kitt, you just hit a speed bump, you are getting past it and will be well on your way to a joyous year ahead! You are known to all of your SparkFriends as a positive person who perseveres! I know you will find many joys yet to come. You and Gary will find a wonderful place, where you can create your dreams together.
    Wishing you both all the best.
    2518 days ago
    Sounds like you are getting your head on straight. Being miserable takes all the joy out of your life, I always do what I call my "high five" on a daily basis. Things I am grateful for that day.
    2518 days ago
    all the best for the new year be positive hugs
    2518 days ago
  • GLORYB83
    Yes Kitt, you are strong and healthy and have a positive attitude!
    Wishing you and your family a Happy, Healthy New Year!
    2518 days ago
    emoticon Life is much too short to waste any of it in negativity.
    I wish you and your family the best in the coming year.
    2518 days ago
    Kitt yes, absolutely YES. Think positive, and good thoughts about your situation. Things will be fine. You are still getting used to the new place.
    2518 days ago
    That's the Kitt we all know and love! Good for you!

    2518 days ago
  • no profile photo BUGSMIMI
    Sounds like you are going into 2013 on the right track! Keep up with the positive thoughts. Makes life is so much more bearable. emoticon

    Have you ever thought of going snowshoeing? I don't like snowstorms as they happen, but I like how the land looks after it is over, and I've finished cleaning out the yard.
    2518 days ago
    emoticon good plan, you can do it Kitt ! Happy New Year to you and Garry
    2518 days ago
  • SFREY217
    Sounds like you have a plan. Good luck and good thoughts !
    2518 days ago
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