Where to (re)Start?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I've been toying with the idea of returning to SparkPeople, but, honestly, the reason I'm doing it at this very moment is because I'm procrastinating a freelance design project.

I have a client who hosts a bodybuilding competition, and I guess looking at pictures of all these really fit people has finally broken me down.

Yes, I've been gone for over a year.

But I have a good reason.

This is Clare. She's 4 months old today. I was newly pregnant with her when I completed the Disney Princess Half-Marathon last February.

I have to pause here and pat myself on the back for a few things. I continued running up until 7 months. I continued tracking my food. I gained only 20 pounds while pregnant with Clare (versus the 50 I gained with Jeffrey). A week after her birth, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm very, very proud of this.

I am not, however, particularly proud of myself since then. I've let the whole "I'm breastfeeding" thing go to my head.... or my stomach, rather. My portions are completely out of control. I feel hungry ALL. THE. TIME.
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Part of this is the raging metabolism breastfeeding creates. Part of it is exhaustion. I use food as a substitute for the sleep I'm not getting. But most of it is willful, unabashed "I want this, dangit, and so I shall have it!"

I've been deleting Spark emails for months and feeling shame every single time. I knew I needed to come back, but mentally I wasn't ready. I'm still not 100% committed, and I have a list of excuses I will probably try to fall back on, but something needs to change. I don't want to get up where I was when I started back in 2010.

I'm going to try some baby steps and allow the motivation to build slowly. That's the Spark way, after all.

emoticon Tracking: EVERY DAY, within my target AT LEAST 4 days a week.
emoticon Freggies: AT LEAST 4 servings of fruits or vegetables EVERY DAY.
emoticon Water: 64oz of water EVERY DAY.
emoticon Exercise: 10 minutes, EVERY DAY.

I'll report back within 2 weeks.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD9796325
    Congratulations on your beautiful baby! Best wishes as you start sparking again!
    2950 days ago
    I'm in nearly the same position, but we can do this lady!! You are so capable and just the blog alone proves that where there is a will there is a way!! KEEP GOING!! emoticon
    2950 days ago
    Glad to see you back !!!! Your baby girl is so pretty !
    2971 days ago
    Welcome back and congratulations!!! I was away for a while too and let several pounds come back but my excuse is not at good as yours, or as cute! I know that it's a big adjustment going from one baby to two. Just take it one day at a time or one minute at a time if you need to.
    I'm back full force ready to get this weight off and become who I supposed to be. I love the community of support here!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2972 days ago
    Welcome back! Clare is adorable. Congrats.

    2974 days ago
  • ELISARA2005
    Breastfeeding can be brutal in terms of how hungry YOU get. Clare is beautiful. When had my son I used him mercilessly to get what I wanted, usually food, so I wouldn't feel badly. I realized that I STILL do this 4 years later. Oh, Ronan is hungry? Mom must eat too, it would be rude if I don't. That's been a big thing for me. I'm sending you lots of happy new (again) mommy thoughts and lots of SP thoughts.

    Happy thoughts and wonderful days
    2975 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2831339
    Congratulations, Kelli! I have so missed you even though I haven't been on myself. I've always said that you were blessed and what a blessing!

    I started back with the 10 min. daily exercise, and it works. Baby steps.
    2975 days ago
    I know exactly what you mean about breastfeeding and feeling hungry all the time and no sleep. Clare is beautiful. Glad to see you back!! emoticon
    2975 days ago
    Kelli!!! So, so glad you are back!!!
    2975 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Congratulations on emoticon

    And...welcome back.
    2975 days ago
    Welcome back. Clare is beautiful. Best wishes for success on your new project.
    2975 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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