Sunday, February 17, 2013
Oh, how I have yearned to be perfect . . . not making any mistakes (love spell check) and knowing that I did everything right! But as I have grown through life hitting me in the face, I have discovered that "PERFECT" really does not exist. What I have thought of as perfection is merely a rigid pattern of rule following and measuring my success by someone else's ruler.
I remember when someone suggested that I throw away the "shoulds." In an instant I felt anxiety and panic. How do I know what decisions to make? I have no boundary to guide me. He lovingly suggested that I could "make up" my own rules. Well that sure sounded stupid at the get-go, but the more I thought about it, the wiser his suggestion became.
I am amazed that I keep falling back into that old pattern of thinking and behaving, however. So today is one of those helpful days that I get to remind myself to try it again and to be gentle with myself in the process as I may goof things up and still yell at my husband and the cats.
I don't know how helpful it will be to write this stuff down, but I'm willing to give it a try again. Sure hope you all are having a pleasant winter day. It snowed here last night in NE Ohio, but today the sun is out for a pleasant day for us as well.