Sunday, February 17, 2013

Oh, how I have yearned to be perfect . . . not making any mistakes (love spell check) and knowing that I did everything right! But as I have grown through life hitting me in the face, I have discovered that "PERFECT" really does not exist. What I have thought of as perfection is merely a rigid pattern of rule following and measuring my success by someone else's ruler.

I remember when someone suggested that I throw away the "shoulds." In an instant I felt anxiety and panic. How do I know what decisions to make? I have no boundary to guide me. He lovingly suggested that I could "make up" my own rules. Well that sure sounded stupid at the get-go, but the more I thought about it, the wiser his suggestion became.

I am amazed that I keep falling back into that old pattern of thinking and behaving, however. So today is one of those helpful days that I get to remind myself to try it again and to be gentle with myself in the process as I may goof things up and still yell at my husband and the cats.

I don't know how helpful it will be to write this stuff down, but I'm willing to give it a try again. Sure hope you all are having a pleasant winter day. It snowed here last night in NE Ohio, but today the sun is out for a pleasant day for us as well.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for this post. I lived with a mother who expected perfection from everyone and no one could ever live up. It made for a very sad, lonely life. Live in the moment and be who you are.

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    2927 days ago
  • JASI27
    I really liked this post. It's one that makes ya think and helps you move forward on your own personal journey. Thanks so much for sharing.
    2930 days ago
  • CKAYT56
    Hi Janene! Glad to see your post. Aren't we always trying to reach for that elusive thing called "perfection". I think it is all right to try to reach for the sky....but like others have said; perfection means trying your best and that is all....no matter what the result is.

    Hope all is well with you. This year will soon be 4 years for us to be on Spark! How are you liking retirement?

    2930 days ago
  • ASTRA58
    I'm letting go of being perfect. I don't think perfect ever really existed except in our own minds of some unattainable standard to beat ourselves up with. Perfect is a dream, not a reality.

    Trying to be perfect made be desperately unhappy. Letting go of the idea that I must be perfect has made me a better and happier person.
    2930 days ago
    I think perfect is doing the best you can at the moment...sometimes perfect will be more...sometimes perfect will be less...but if you're giving it your all that's all you can do.

    2930 days ago
  • JANENE413
    Sumay, I know I'm only one of millions of people who struggle with this. Thanks for your comments and support.

    2930 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13654686
    I know where you are coming from. Growing up, being perfect was expected - and now I expect it of myself (and often fail). Sometimes we just need to learn to accept ourselves - mistakes and all - and know that we are doing our best.

    Here's hoping you feel comfortable embracing yourself as you are - you deserve to be!

    2930 days ago
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