JANENE413

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Perfect!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Oh, how I have yearned to be perfect . . . not making any mistakes (love spell check) and knowing that I did everything right! But as I have grown through life hitting me in the face, I have discovered that "PERFECT" really does not exist. What I have thought of as perfection is merely a rigid pattern of rule following and measuring my success by someone else's ruler.

I remember when someone suggested that I throw away the "shoulds." In an instant I felt anxiety and panic. How do I know what decisions to make? I have no boundary to guide me. He lovingly suggested that I could "make up" my own rules. Well that sure sounded stupid at the get-go, but the more I thought about it, the wiser his suggestion became.

I am amazed that I keep falling back into that old pattern of thinking and behaving, however. So today is one of those helpful days that I get to remind myself to try it again and to be gentle with myself in the process as I may goof things up and still yell at my husband and the cats.

I don't know how helpful it will be to write this stuff down, but I'm willing to give it a try again. Sure hope you all are having a pleasant winter day. It snowed here last night in NE Ohio, but today the sun is out for a pleasant day for us as well.
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  • ANUSCHKA9
    Thanks for this post. I lived with a mother who expected perfection from everyone and no one could ever live up. It made for a very sad, lonely life. Live in the moment and be who you are.

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    2927 days ago
  • JASI27
    I really liked this post. It's one that makes ya think and helps you move forward on your own personal journey. Thanks so much for sharing.
    2930 days ago
  • CKAYT56
    Hi Janene! Glad to see your post. Aren't we always trying to reach for that elusive thing called "perfection". I think it is all right to try to reach for the sky....but like others have said; perfection means trying your best and that is all....no matter what the result is.

    Hope all is well with you. This year will soon be 4 years for us to be on Spark! How are you liking retirement?

    Char
    2930 days ago
  • ASTRA58
    I'm letting go of being perfect. I don't think perfect ever really existed except in our own minds of some unattainable standard to beat ourselves up with. Perfect is a dream, not a reality.

    Trying to be perfect made be desperately unhappy. Letting go of the idea that I must be perfect has made me a better and happier person.
    2930 days ago
  • CJJANISS
    I think perfect is doing the best you can at the moment...sometimes perfect will be more...sometimes perfect will be less...but if you're giving it your all that's all you can do.

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    2930 days ago
  • JANENE413
    Sumay, I know I'm only one of millions of people who struggle with this. Thanks for your comments and support.

    J.
    2930 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13654686
    I know where you are coming from. Growing up, being perfect was expected - and now I expect it of myself (and often fail). Sometimes we just need to learn to accept ourselves - mistakes and all - and know that we are doing our best.

    Here's hoping you feel comfortable embracing yourself as you are - you deserve to be!

    Sumay
    2930 days ago
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