Moaning from the closet
Sunday, February 24, 2013
There is moaning coming from my closet. It's not me. I am just full on cursing. It's my buttons, you see. I've always been hard on buttons but lately, I've been torturing them. I feel so bad for them I put a boom box in my closet (dating myself here) and let Snoop Dogg's voice sooth them while playing "Loosen Up My Buttons"
So many of them are hanging by a thread and I inevitably forget to perform surgery on them before hanging them back up. Until....Until the next time I plead with them to please keep my pants up and promise I will do something about the pressure they are under.
Some of them hang in there with me. Others wave the white flag and surrender. I just am glad when that white flag isn't my underwear being exposed from my pants falling down. Wait, what am I talking about? That would mean the fat around my hips had miraculously shrunk to allow them to plummet to the floor.
Well buttons, there will be less moaning (and cursing) in the closet. I PROMISE! And Hey, you pants tucked into the corner - yeah you size 8 pants, I'm talking to you....I'm coming. Get your buttons ready.