Another resolution gone bad.
Monday, April 30, 2007
I have made it my job NOT to make New Year's resolutions. They only make me feel like a failure. Well, this year I caved. I resolved to live healthier. Every week signified a peak or valley of my rollercoaster ride. One week I feel like I am on top of the world...I have logged in miles on my treadmill and my kids' red wagon doesn't feel heavy anymore, I carry around a gallon jug of water throughout the day AND finish it. One day, I even did cartwheels in the middle of the track and taught my son how to do handstands. Alas, Monday rolls around...again. But this Monday feels different. The chips and cheese sauce have found their way into my cupboard. That gallon jug of water has been replaced with a Diet Coke (or six). Spending an hour at the park seems like a chore.
I'd like to get off this ride. I'd like to not think about it all the time. I'd like to enjoy life and not worry that I feel inadequate. I'd like to not feel inadequate.
And so it is Monday. The positive side of me reminds me that I have lost 20 pounds this year and kept it off. I can feel myself climbing back up to that peak. The wind is blowing through my hair and a song plays on the radio
".......slow ride....take it easy...."