Sunday, August 04, 2013
I'm writing this with a very heavy heart today. I've been the proud "mama" of 4 lovely kitties for a few years. My eldest baby (Furball) crossed the rainbow bridge earlier today. He was 17 and have been having some issues for a short while. He had lost a significant amount of weight recently but was still able to get around and do things. He began to behave a little differently so I thought some of the changes were possibly due to aging. I attempted to make him as comfortable as possible in his last days.
He enjoyed being as close as possible to me. He could no longer hop onto the bed so I got some steps so he could climb onto the bed to sleep. Additionally, he could no longer hop onto my lap so I would pick him up. I think he enjoyed the time we spent together, as he seemed content. He would sit at the base of the stairs to the second floor and call out to me so I think it was getting harder for him to climb steps even though he continued to do it. He became a little frustrated when he wasn't near me or at least have me in his view.
I could tell today was different than other days. His meow was louder and sounded a little different. He no longer walked up the steps to greet me. He laid down and did not move any more than he absolutely had to. When I picked him up, he felt different and reacted differently. At that point, I think I knew it was time. I went downstairs and awoke my mom to let her know it was time for us to say our goodbyes. At first, I don't think it registered right away what I was trying to tell her. As I was holding my baby, he looked at me and meowed twice. After the second meow, he was gone.
After his passing, two of the other kitties walked around the house confused. These two kitties are siblings (Daisy & Tygher) and created a bond with Furball that I was unsure of at first. It took awhile for all the kitties to adjust to each other and they each created a lasting relationship with one another. Daisy & Tygher walked around different rooms sniffing all the little nooks and crannies looking for Furball. They appeared confused when they could smell him but couldn't find him. Tygher seemed to have the strongest bond with Furball - I guess because they were both males. Daisy followed me around the house all day and would not let me out of her sight (more intensely than she usually does). I think she knew I was devastated and tried to help me feel better. She sat in my lap for a couple of hours and had this intensely loud purr. I did feel a little better spending time with her. I had the most intense bond with Furball and will always treasure the time we spent together. I sensed the void that has been created by his passing will be filled by Daisy. No other kitty will replace the way I feel about Furball but they will help me deal with the pain.
My fourth kitty, Ebanee, doesn't seem to have yet realized that something has changed in her world. She had bonded with Furball but they didn't seem to spend as much time together as the other kitties did. I think it may take her awhile longer to go through the emotions I see in Daisy & Tygher.
In the last couple of months, I believed that Furball must have been in pain. He acted differently and his meows began to sound a little different. I believe spending more time with him helped him feel better. As hard as this is for me, if he was in pain, he's no longer in pain. This has devastated me much more than I can put into words. I believe he's on the other side running around making lots of friends and having a great time. I know he'll be there to greet me when I cross over to the other side.