Saturday, August 10, 2013
Although I am actively pursuing 2nd opinions, the carcinosarcoma has come back for the 3rd time. I have a tumor growing quickly in my liver and my oncologist says it is inoperable. If my insurance ever approves, I am going to have "cyber knife" radiation treatments to shrink/destroy the tumor. But if they drag their feet much longer, it wont be necessary 'cause the tumor will kill me real soon. I have talked to the tumor and explained that if I die, it dies, but it doesn't seem to care. I have yelled and cried and screamed and pleaded to God, but I guess His answer is no. I am "only" 57 and we are raising 2 of our grandchildren (both 9, and the boy is severely developmentally delayed). I am not afraid of dying at all (I will be with Jesus!) but I really can't leave my family right now. It is so unfair to them. Yeah, I know, life isn't fair.
see you on the other side!