Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Hi, my name is Christine and I'm just coming back.
I can giggle at that, but truly what I'm feeling is relief.
I haven't been participating or using the tools from SP ... completely stopped communicating with my support network here. I had faced myself with a challenge, which I accomplished with great determination ... and then, that was it ... I stopped participating. My challenge was done.
Similarly, it's like doing 90 meetings in 90 days, or celebrating one year sober, and then what?
This isn't a challenge. It's life. And I'm seeing it, I'm getting it ... Life is a 'We' program ... not meant to be done, lived or figured out alone. Eating and living healthy is not something to "accomplish" ... it's a way of living.
That said, as hard as it is to admit to myself and to others, I need help with this. I give up trying to do this alone, on my own. It.NEVER.Works (for long) when I do it on my own.
My life is unmanageable, my eating is out of control and it is affecting myself and many others. As I type this, my daughter is out running with her aunt and her cousin, and I skipped out with the excuse that "I have to work," when truthfully I was just hating myself and feeling so unfit.
God, help me.