A new and better me (skeletons and all)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
It's hard for me to think back to myself as an adolescent and the dichotomy between who I once was and who I am now. In a new town and with a fresh start I feel as if I don't have to have that past with me anymore, but at times I'm painfully reminded that indeed I do have a past and it is, in fact, a part of who I am. In a past that seems so distant, I was a teenager silently screaming for help and a way out of a life I felt trapped in. Depression that began at the ripe old age of 11 and still has not been medically addressed, once brought me to a point that I was sure would be the end of the road. It wasn't pills or a psychiatrist that saved me, but a new start and human connections that made me realize that life is bigger and more full than the darkness that passes. I have learned patience, and patience has saved me. My mother always got me through the most stressful of times with the simple phrase...this too will pass. As I look at my life now, and how far I have come, there is embarrassment for who I was. The scars of my past, both visible and figurative, do not fit the life I've worked hard to achieve. I know we all have a history, but there are times I wish I could just cut and splice the film strip; go straight from birth to today. Back to my mantra..."forget regret or life is yours to miss...No day but today"