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a song, a pic, a birthday wish, for me, thanks me!!!

Monday, September 30, 2013

This is a new one, I havent shared.....I suppose 46 could be alot worse....

Woke up to an early foggy chilly fall morning. Got a late start on the track, but I got that hour in and loved it.
Feet are a little achy today, not sure why, but maybe shoes???

So, as some of you may know, today I turned 46!!!
Yes, 4 6....I know its hard to believe!!
I met a Facebook friend a few weeks ago for the first time in person, thru my employer, he was talking about people from our high school and he kept saying names and I told him I didnt recognize the names, then I told him I was a few years older than him and his classmates, he said, no, you graduated when...90 91???
LOL, I am unsure if he was just yanking my chain or being nice or what, but I said nooooo, I was class of 85.
He said no way!!!
Well that is my being bragged on, or bragging on myself moment for the day.
Maybe I am delusional, but I know friends who are my same age and they look alot older than me, so I feel I am doing pretty good.
The lady I work for told me the first time she met me that my skin is flawless.
I was unsure if she needed glasses or if she had been into the wine.
But I feel pretty good about it, I dont smoke, dont drink, often, and I guess now that I am eating healthier foods, drinking lots of water, sleeping better and exercising, getting alot of fresh air and sunshine, when I can....I guess my skin is in good shape for 46 years of sometimes rather rough living.
I got my walk in and went to Subway and treated myself to one indulgence I know I need to make a very rare thing, A blueberry redbull!!!
I dont drink them often, and not for energy, but I like the taste.
And I came home, and that has been my birthday so far. No plans. The walk was great, added some new songs to my player this week and really enjoyed being out in the sun.
Now if I can just start seeing some progress on the scale!!
I know, I know!!!
Dont put all our eggs in that basket, but some of them right?
I mean, come on already, I am walking as much as I can, trying to work on my abdominal and stretch band workout as often as I can.
Eating pretty good, staying pretty well within my calories daily, no alchohol, lots of veggies, lots of water.
Come on????
I cant take this much longer!!!
Every Tuesday I get on that scale and sometimes I am down a pound or two, but by the next week, its right back.
This is my one contentious issue for the day.
I just want to continue to lose weight, I want to get some pounds off me.
I hit a wall back in about Feb, after I had to stop walking due to the foot, and it has just stuck, I knew I had slacked, I knew depression played a role in my not eating so healthy.
But I am feeling good, I am not dwelling on the past or the negative thoughts, I am upbeat and I am trying really hard.
But I am seeing zero results!!!
So, blah, now I have gotten bad thoughts in my head and I feel like I am missing something, somewhere, like theres a big secret I am not in on it.
Well, anyway.
Turning 46 isnt too bad. If I were down another 30 pounds as I had really hoped to be by now, I would be alot happier, but overall, its not been depressing.
I feel pretty good, and I dont look too bad...oh there I go bragging again, lol.
I mean, just imagine how smoking hot I would be if I had continued on my weight loss thru this past year. emoticon emoticon
When I do my end of the year review in December, I know my focus is going to be on how bad 2013 was....from start to finish, it was just an overall depressing year, wrought with anger, sadness, loss of hope, loss of physical ability.
But never once loss of determination, or desire!!!
Thanks to all friends who take the time daily to comment on my blog.
It is nice to know someone is listening.
Here is one of my new songs on my player, I listen to it when I walk and I ponder the meaning, most of these songs were probably written about lost love.
To me, they often hold different meanings and this one me, FOR ME...WHEN I AM HEARING IT....THRU MY EARS, MY is about finding ones self again, I say, I am not leaving ME behind.
I am not giving up on ME!!! So, my birthday wish, I make WITHOUT a cake, Is to lose another 80 time, and to just feel as good or better on my next birthday and that I can keep on working on me, physically, emotionally, just find time for me and workout. My wish is to be where I want and need to be.
Hope everyone is having a fabulous last day of Sept.
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