start of week two
Monday, October 07, 2013
I am so frustrated with myself. I have to change my life style when it comes to health and I am having a hard time motivating myself. I work in mental health and I am told every day how much I motivate and help others so why can I not do it for myself ?
I know why I put the wait on and I know why I kept it on. But I thought I had come to terms with it already so why am I still setting myself up to fail at this? If I do not change this I will die. My doctors are serious and they are worried I am not willing to change. I have an addictive personality I am seven plus years clean so why is it so hard to become a health addict I know many who have done just that. What am I missing here ? I am headed back into therapy hoping to find some answers. I am going to try small things until it clicks so I am doing 10 minutes on bike today. I am going to clean out everything unhealthy in my refrigerator and my cabinets.
I work doubles on weekends so during the week I still sleep daytime and up nights. I need to stay up and live normal schedule during week so I get on routine. Not sure how this will go but I am willing to try as I live in apartment building and not able to use gym at night or play my music to work out with. I will keep blogging even though I am frustrated and unsure this is working . Wonder if I can even help anyone with my ranting.