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Adult Halloween Humor #11

Sunday, October 27, 2013

So here is my long, convoluted, joke based upon a Massachusetts accent:

It seemed a scene out of "The Birds"! Along a Massachusetts stretch of farm-to-market road there were SO many dead and dying birds... mostly black birds, crows, and other corvids -- it was scary! Many were horribly mangled! What threat could've killed so many? The state ornithologist was called in. He collected samples and all the dead birds were removed -- but the birds kept dying in great masses! Whatever the threat was, it was ongoing! The State wrote the ornithologist with urgency, telling him to hurry up with his analysis. The ornithologist WAS hurrying -- investigating diet, dietary changes, food availability, environmental changes, infectious diseases etc., but the carcasses were leaving no clues. Time was passing and the crows kept dying! Finally the ornithologist set up an observation station along the road, hoping that direct observations might give him some clues. It happened to a business day In Massachusetts on that Halloween that the ornithologist's letter reached the State. And (summing it up without all the legalese and *ss-covering language), it read:

"Upon direct observation and lengthy analysis, I have concluded that this stretch or road presents the crows with an excellent food source from spillage of foodstuffs being moved by truck; and they are drawn to it in great numbers. The birds tend to post sentries to warn them of approaching danger so that they can remove themselves in time to avoid onrushing cars, trucks, hikers, bikers and the like which they consider dangerous. Crows, being crows, are well-able and diligent in warning of approaching cars. However, while calling "Caw! CAW!" is easy for crows, they are unable to warn of "Truck, TRUCK!"
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