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to be the bigger person isnt always a bad thing.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

How do you deal with someone who is a saboteur????
Not only of your sobriety, or your diet, but of your emotional and mental health as well????
Yesterday was a decent day.
I stayed within calorie range and my car got fixed, I was feeling ok.
Then this person texts me and sends me a reminder of a past issue that I have hoped and longed to put behind me.
I went thru alot of pain and alot of indecision and alot of stress over this issue.
And I have been doing really well the last few months.
I have moved past it, and while I know its never going away, it is going on a back shelf in my mind.
But this so called friend is just hell bent on reminding me every chance she gets.
So last night, I went from being around a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 of feeling good, to a super low of zero!!
I was literally near tears driving in my car to the dollar store.
I am sick of it.
I had a conversation with another friend about how to handle it, and she advised me to either confront my friend and tell her if she continues this behavior I can no longer talk to her.
Or, to just stop talking to her and stop responding to her and maybe she will get the hint.
But for my own peace of mind, i need to let her know that this is not something a friend would do. Of course, a part of me just says, be the bigger person and DO NOT let her know or see that it even bothers you, because that just gives her ammuntion to work with. I feel like I am beating my demons and maybe she is one of them, and maybe I just have to put her behind me as well. That for me is being the bigger person.
Of course all of you who follow my blogs or follow my posts on CDTB team, know that it is the same friend.
I really feel that she has for so long seen me as the one with the issues and the one who turned to her for advice, etc.
And now, I am a much stronger person, moving on from my issues and working thru them.
Losing weight, getting healthy and not living that lifestyle that she wants me to.
And I feel she finds ways to jab me when she can in order to try to get me back down to her level.
Why are there people in our lives who try to sabotage us?
Why do we keep them in our lives?
When do we just walk away?
And I see that is really my only option at this point.
In order to keep my own peace of mind, my own sobriety, my own struggle toward a healthier life, I have to step away from people who want to throw up roadblocks.
I guess I am answering my own question.
Can I ever just have a calm day, with no serious emotional issues to deal with????
I am going to sip my coffee, listen to the wind outside and hope I find the strength inside me to just walk away.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hope you find that strength, too. Sustaining this "relationship" is not healthy for either of you.

    emoticon emoticon
    2528 days ago
    2528 days ago
  • PCOH051610
    Simply put, it's jealousy! On her part and not on yours. I've had a friend who has bullied me for the past several years and it was only when she as moving away that I recognized it for what it was.

    IF, it makes you feel better have that talk to her, otherwise try to put it behind you. You don't need people like her in your life. If you really need to get it off your chest - write her a letter but don't mail it!

    2528 days ago
    stand up and tall to all forms of bullying . to be told of a certain thing over and over again is certainly be a form of that . be the bigger person and don't hit her . can you tell her nicely that it is done and I have moved forward . you do the same . see how she acts then .
    2528 days ago
    emoticon sending you strength to help you walk away
    Surround yourself with positive friends
    2528 days ago
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