What Happened?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Wow, my last blog was dated November 10, 2011!! I guess time flies when you are having fun! Or the more honest answer is life got busy and my priorities changed.

Back in November of 2011, I signed up for a half ironman. I am not sure what got into me but this was NOT a well thought out commitment. My daughter was 15 and had just started high school. As most parents who have teenagers know, this is a very important time to be involved in your child's life. I jumped into something without thinking the whole commitment through. It took a few months of training (until February) for me to figure out that this was NOT a good idea. Taylor started saying things like, "Wow mom, I hardly ever see you anymore." This broke my heart. I hired an online coach to help me prepare for this race and the relationship was less than satisfactory. I am not saying that he was a bad coach but he wasn't the coach for me! I ended up training a lot by myself and it was super lonely. I realized quickly that I like doing these sorts of things because of the social interaction it provides. Riding my bike for hours on end by myself sucked!! I need buddies!!! I also had an injury (sprained ankle) that kept my progress at a minimum early on. All these things contributed to me deciding that this was not the right time to pursue my dream of taking on a half ironman. I do believe there will be a time in the future where I will attempt this goal again, God willing, but it isn't right now.

So, no-big-deal right? I decided to reevaluate and not move forward with this goal. WRONG! This messed me up mentally for months to come. I struggle with an all or nothing mentality. If I can't go all out, I might as well not try. So, I started eating badly and I stopped working out for awhile. I am not the type of person that sets goals and doesn't accomplish them. I was so disappointed with myself for giving up on my goal. I thought others would think less of me. I went through a really rough time trying to swallow the defeat. I see now that I should have just readjusted my goal to something that would fit my lifestyle and priorities (i.e. a shorter distance triathlon) but instead I gave up on things that were important to me. DUMB!

The good news is that while I went off the deep end for a bit, I realized some of my lifestyle choices have stuck! Even though I wasn't working out rigorously, I still felt that I needed to get out and go walking regularly. I would make bad food choices but more often than not it wasn't all out. It was a more moderate way of indulging. I realized that what I have learned over the many years of trying to maintain my weight stuck even when my focus took a detour. Don't get me wrong, the scale moved in the wrong direction but I was able to take control again before it got way out of hand.

This isn't a perfect journey, this is life! I am grateful for the times that I struggle because it helps me have compassion for myself and for others that are also struggling. I realize that this is a battle that is won, day after day. I pray that God gives me the strength to take care of the temple he has given me to travel through this life with. I only get one!

Let's move forward together,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It happens. I'm glad to see you are back on track again though and hope you will update us again with your journey. By the way, if you are liking exciting events that are not boring and very social, try Spartan Events. They are awesome.
    2154 days ago
    I hardly ever am on Spark People anymore, but I am so glad I happened to read this blog! You are such an inspiration....hope to see you again soon!

    2449 days ago
    I think there are a lot of people that have an all-or-nothing mentality about a lot of things (pointing fingers in my direction especially) and it's so easy to get defeated by them. You're right, though... the important part is pulling yourself back up, dusting off, and continuing to move in a forward direction. Even if moving forward is slower than slogging through molasses in freezing weather. At least it's still forward momentum. And priorities DO change in life and you do the best you can to navigate it. I think you were quite successful.
    2453 days ago
    Love it! GoOd assessment, and great idea!
    2453 days ago
  • S318830
    Leah, outstanding observations. Sorry to hear you were so hard on yourself when you postponed your goal. But every time you go through something like this you learn more for "next time" and you don't repeat it. Posting about your struggles really helps others understand that things aren't always rosy for other people. And it's a good reminder that even in maintenance you have to stay vigilant or you slide backwards - something I'm a good example of myself.
    2454 days ago
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