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merry, yeah whatever

Monday, December 02, 2013

So the decision was made today, to put off the move til after Christmas.
I cant say I am sad about it, lol.
I wish I never ever had to move. But, alas, it will happen.
So for the time being, I am going to be packing up little things that can be moved to the new place.
And Christmas will be spent "at home" for one last time.
I am very sad, its going to be a very bittersweet Christmas.
I really really need a job. and maybe some new hobbies, some things to keep me occupied and busy after this move, to keep me from becoming so very depressed about living in the boonies!!!
I honestly dont know how I am going to make it thru this transistion, and if I will be able to stand it up there.
So isolated from the rest of the world.
Sure there are neighbors, but no one I want to spend time with or be around.
Right now where I live is next to the highway and one of my favorite things is sitting out on my porch in the warm weather and seeing the harley's go by and seeing people, some I know and they will honk as they go by, once in awhile someone will stop by.
But the new place is so far from the highway, and I just get so sad and depressed thinking about it.
What can I do????
I have said in the past I would rather die than move there, and I almost feel like a part of me will die, because I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
I guess I am just going to try to enjoy the next few weeks and make the most of the holiday, knowing in the back of my mind that I am so sad and filled with dread.
I keep telling myself maybe it wont be so bad. Maybe it will be ok.
The new house is alot nicer and warmer and I can fix it the way I want it.
Doing a little shopping for things, lamps, rugs, etc has made me feel a little better, but overall, there are times I tell myself I would rather be alone and broke and have nothing than to move there.
I feel like a part of me is dying.
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  • OLGA18
    I am sorry you are feeling so low and I do understand how difficult a move can be. I moved to the inner city (and a different country) 2 years ago having always lived in (and loved) the country.
    It's a difficult transition....but if it must be done, it must.
    I have learned to embrace the city though my heart will always be in the country. I think that, in time, you will learn to appreciate the unique qualities that your new area has to offer. Setting up a new place can be really fun and if you keep your focus on that for awhile you could enjoy that. Maybe go pick up paint chips and fabric samples and such to do some idea shopping...?

    2517 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Sorry to see that you are having a hard time with this. I know it is easier said than done but look at the move as a new adventure. An opportunity for new things in your life. I hope that it all works out for you and you can enjoy the holidays
    2517 days ago
    I am sorry that this move is making you sad.
    I guess you are having to do this other wise you would not.
    maybe you can spend time at the library or walk at the mall if you get isolated invite your friends over.

    2517 days ago
    I hope things work out for you.

    Think of it as a new canvas and you can make a beautiful picture
    2517 days ago
    That is ROUGH. I love the city as well and live right next to the highway, and I don't think I could every be completely happy living in the "boonies". It just gets soooo quiet! One cool thing about living a little off the beaten path, though, is the stars and the crickets. So maybe you don't hear the harleys. Or maybe you buy your own! But you get the sounds of nature that us city folk don't get. And you might think there's nobody now, but you haven't moved yet. There are people everywhere and if you allow yourself to get involved then you'll meet others and make friends and be social. It'll be different, but hopefully you come to love some of the nuances of country living that you didn't get in the city. I definitely feel for you, though. Hugs, my dear!
    2517 days ago
    Good Luck in new house!
    2517 days ago
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