merry, yeah whatever
Monday, December 02, 2013
So the decision was made today, to put off the move til after Christmas.
I cant say I am sad about it, lol.
I wish I never ever had to move. But, alas, it will happen.
So for the time being, I am going to be packing up little things that can be moved to the new place.
And Christmas will be spent "at home" for one last time.
I am very sad, its going to be a very bittersweet Christmas.
I really really need a job. and maybe some new hobbies, some things to keep me occupied and busy after this move, to keep me from becoming so very depressed about living in the boonies!!!
I honestly dont know how I am going to make it thru this transistion, and if I will be able to stand it up there.
So isolated from the rest of the world.
Sure there are neighbors, but no one I want to spend time with or be around.
Right now where I live is next to the highway and one of my favorite things is sitting out on my porch in the warm weather and seeing the harley's go by and seeing people, some I know and they will honk as they go by, once in awhile someone will stop by.
But the new place is so far from the highway, and I just get so sad and depressed thinking about it.
What can I do????
I have said in the past I would rather die than move there, and I almost feel like a part of me will die, because I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
I guess I am just going to try to enjoy the next few weeks and make the most of the holiday, knowing in the back of my mind that I am so sad and filled with dread.
I keep telling myself maybe it wont be so bad. Maybe it will be ok.
The new house is alot nicer and warmer and I can fix it the way I want it.
Doing a little shopping for things, lamps, rugs, etc has made me feel a little better, but overall, there are times I tell myself I would rather be alone and broke and have nothing than to move there.
I feel like a part of me is dying.