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and nothing else matters!!! read this sp friends.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I got up this morning, and started listening to music, sitting here with my earbuds on, listenng to some of my walking songs.
I hear them like I never really heard them before, when I am on the walking track.
A song comes to me, gets into my mind, I hear the words, I feel the emotion, I find where it fits in my life at the moment.
Today, I have a stressful situation to deal with. I have stressed to the point that my hair is dry and breaking.
I considered getting drunk, I considered eating junk, I considered crying.
Then I said, to Hades with all of that!!!
After talking to a good friend last night, I just understood, nothing I can do will change what has already happened, I can only move on from here, make the necessary changes that will end this situation and go into the next day a little clearer.
I wont go into details, alot of it is financial and I have been alot poorer in my past than I am now, I will figure it out.
But I feel better about it right at this moment.
By 2pm today, I might be in full melt down mode, I am sure hoping not, but my friend told me, whatever happens is going to happen and you just have to see that it isnt as bad as it could be.
So, I spent last night making candy, for friends and relatives, and I didnt eat any, and I didnt drink any of the bourbon that I used to make it.
I did it to keep myself busy and not dwell on things I have no control over.
The whole year of 2013, I have said was one of the worst years of my life and it didnt fail to live up to that title.
Only weeks away from the end of the year and this hits me, but like I said, it happened in this horrible year, the lost year, the year of pain, the year of loss, job loss, the year of emotional upheaval and desperation and broken bones and medication and devices to help bones heal.
And it was beginning to ease, but it made sure to get one last jab in on me before it bid adieu!!!
The one positive, the one comfort, the one in your face, straighten up and fly right was SP.
all of you who commented on blogs, sent private messages, helped me thru the pain, sent words of encouragement, kept me grounded.
Just reading your blogs and message boards, showed me I wasnt alone.
We all deal with what comes our way, "this thing of ours"/
I seen others dealing with much worse than I.
and I got words of encouragement, and others told me to suck it up and deal with it.
Thanks to all of you, and I just hope these words, of Metallica, the song I never fail to listen to on the walking track, will help you see what I feel about SP and how comforting it is to come here each day. Losing weight, eating right, walking, drinking water, taking my vitamins, not drinking alcohol, victories and losses and depths of despair and rises to glory, I share with each of you.

""""Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters""""
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm not a huggy person but sure wish I could give you a hug right now! emoticon
    Hoping things get better for you in 2014! emoticon emoticon
    2499 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Sometimes things are the darkest before the light shines through. 2013 was a rough year for you but I guess that means you have one way to go in 2014, and that is UP! I hope your day went well for you and you can rid yourself of some of that stress!
    2503 days ago
    You WILL get there - you've totally got the strong, positive and sparking attitude and determination to make it emoticon emoticon
    2504 days ago
    You are strong, you can do this.

    I can't wait to see the end of 2013. It hasn't been a great year for me either.

    I agree about spark friends. The loss of my little grandbaby showed me who my friends and support are here.
    Here's to 2014 emoticon
    2504 days ago
    What I see in this blog is the strength you have gained by living through all of your 2013 experiences! May 2014 be a year filled with joy, peace, health and great abundance for you!
    2504 days ago
    I feel your pain, this has been such a hard year for me too. I myself have great music that helps sooth me, mine is Westlife and Shane Filan though. We can only pray it will get better. I always ask God why me, I try so hard but get nowhere it seems. I Went through a divorce this year, he is suppose to be paying child support hasn't but 6 times this year, and he is suppose to be paying spousal support, hasn't yet. If he would do what he is suppose to be doing things wouldn't be as bad, but he is a jerk and thinks only of himself, one reason for the divorce. Hold your head up and dont give into temptations, I know I have and gained 4 lbs because of it. I have told myself I am going into the new year positive, going to go back to being vegan and get my bills paid off and not incur new debts. I will graduate college this year, just to have another year and the community college, but I would have finally accomplished something I have been working on for years.
    2504 days ago
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