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Moment of Awareness....

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Holiday or no ...season of whatever ...fact is this getting healthy ..getting in shape..eating right..
man this has got to be an everyday thing!!

Was out & about today..had to walk in some cold & strong winds. Found that ..I got out of breathe more easily than I used to. Felt the effort more than I used to..because??? I have not been exercising like I used to!! ya think??

yep thas it. I have admittedly slacked off..the mean to is there...the DO IT has been lacking.
& today the results showed their lil ugly selves!!

So..what ya gonna do lady?? sit around & pout or get back on that horse & ride??

After all this craziness I know I have been doing a lot of "emotional" eating..or stress eating.
plus i just kinda gave up on fixing MY meals..I fixed the fried crap & ate it..just too tired mentally to fight the fight. Or so I thought...today was a slap in the face reminder!!OH yeah!

I could whine & go on..my knee hurts-it is bruised. Then just go on from there..or I can just pick me up ..shake me real good..set me down & tell me to straighten the h#ll up!
I think I will go for that last option..I really really do not like the idea of "giving up"..it just doesn't sit well with me.

As a few know I ducked & ran earlier this Fall..it cost me dearly in terms of ME..I deserted my team..I ran from issues here in my life & tried to just duck the whole scene. Ya know what..
you take it with you. The issues...are inside you ..your head your heart your mind. I can know in my front brain that I cannot run from them..but that old back brain the "fight or flight" brain.
It says Go ...Go..Go now while you can..& it is wrong.

I have lost ground as far as fitness..I have gained weight & am beyond displeased about that.
but if you stuff ..stuff in your mouth then sit around..hmmm stuff turns to rolls around your middle or rump which ever!

So ..flogging over..I am I realize only human . Now to turn this boat around & start paddling in the right direction....

For now ..it is time to tuck in & get some rest. In the AM I will decide what I will do..

Sleepy now..feel better for "venting". Wanna post onna them pics where two folks are in the britches I wear now. I hate to think they are that big..but they might be! I realized today that part of my problem is I never had an image of me as BIG..or FAT. I said it..but I did not truely have that image in my head. Somehow today it got planted..took root & became a reality.

Now having looked in the mirror of self...Wow..not asking why or how I let myself get this way.
Asking ...how long are you going to put up with this ??? & if not going to do anything about it..then quit fussing & just sit there in that chair & spread out like a marshmellow.

There ya go...thas how it has to be..

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2181 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    Life isn't a straight line, honey. You are more aware and your brain isn't helping
    2182 days ago
    You HAVE been getting exercise with the cleaning you have been doing.. and you HAVE been looking after your "soul" having fun with your friend. You have survived the frozen water. You are amazing! Lots of skills... just have to figure out how to get them focused on the food issues.

    I kept "failing" and someone said maybe my goals were the problem. Maybe what I was trying to achieve, I wasn't ready for. Even though in my head I had said I was never going to diet again, I still found myself picking up the same shovel and try to dig myself out of the hole. My core beliefs had not changed. I was trying to do what I thought other people thought I should do.

    So... I changed my rules. Began to see it as an experiment rather than as a thing I had to achieve. What could I learn? What COULD I do? What WAS working? In the writing diet have you started writing about the chapter themes? I found every one of them helped me sharpen my ideas of the positives. Identify my trigger foods. Decide what my food plan is. For a while I had to stop worrying about the food and instead do the research. It is a great book. See what you can find that excites you and makes you say "I can do that" or "I get it now, I wasn't doing that before". It helped me get out of my ruts where I would get into the same problems over and over again.

    You can do this. Keep blogging, it's GREAT!
    2182 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/24/2013 2:35:26 PM
    Don't be mad with yourself. That's bad for your health! Just do what you can, indeed. Today is a new day.
    2182 days ago
    Facing reality is the hardest part!! The good news? You've done it before and you can do it again. Its just like running - your body has muscle memory!! And its so worth the effort!! Hugs!! emoticon
    2182 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2182 days ago
    Ahhh... you can do it & you WILL do it. Sometimes that's all it takes - getting slapped in the face with reality & then we start turning our lives around. You've got the will and the desire so run with it!

    Have a Merry Christmas!
    2183 days ago
    Stay motivated!
    2183 days ago
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