Confession time

Thursday, January 02, 2014

If you saw my ticker, you are seeing that I managed to keep off 20 lbs for last year (2013) now I am starting at 330 lb and am getting a new caregiver. The last one did not encourage me to eat right and brought things that I'm not supposed to eat. Now I can't blame anyone but myself, it just makes it easier if it doesn't come into the house. We also never got started back to the gym, that has got to change. The last caregiver stressed me out with all her drama and we all know what happens we get stressed, we eat. I have to have someone that puts my best interest first and foremost. I will not be disrespected in my home. Well, the point is I'm starting over again and try once more to keep my addiction under control. I can do this. At least I don't weigh 411 lbs anymore. emoticon
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    I just found this, Pat. I'm not polishing any halo here, but I spend a lot of my time giving to, caring about and doing things for other people, often leaving little time for me. I have 'let things go' with a hugely confrontational younger sister who has almost relentlessly behaved nastily to me with no justifiable or acceptable reason, and I have internalised all these stresses. My husband will not have her in the house until she puts her own code of conduct into better order. I have now cut the ties until she owns her foul behaviour and, although it saddens me greatly to not have a proper sisterly relationship, I am not allowing that kind of damaging stress in to my life any more. I am looking after me and I'm putting me first. It's for my own health, my sanity and my longevity. I'm standing up for me.

    I like me. I'm a nice person. I don't deserve to be treated badly. I am important. I am choosing to be one of the people who is kind to me.

    I like you. You're a nice person. You don't deserve to be treated badly. You are important. You are choosing to be one of the people who is kind to you.

    Well done you for taking a stand. Let's stand there together, yes?

    Taking control is empowering - and it's then easier then to take control of other things too. I wonder if that's why I'm finding my return to SP so much calmer and focused? Have I found the key to being in control? I don't know - but you have certainly made me think seriously about the coincidental timing of my taking control with that of saying 'No more!' to the onslaught of brickbats, yelling and misrepresentation which too often, with no preamble, stunningly came at me from left field. I used to be an Air Traffic Controller - a good one, too. Now I'm in control of me and it's truly empowering. Catch me if you can, eh??!!

    Well done. Good blog!

    JJ xx emoticon

    2268 days ago
  • LOSER05
    emoticon emoticon
    2331 days ago
  • MARYANN2323
    Glad to see you standing your ground and doing what is in your best interest. It's too bad about the last carer, but you need someone who will do the best by you.
    2339 days ago
    Drama does make us stressed and turn to food. Awesome that you are advocating for your self1 emoticon
    2339 days ago
    Excellent self-awareness. You can do it!!!!!
    2339 days ago
    You are making the difficult choices so you can take care of YOU! Good job.
    2340 days ago
    We all have to be accountable for what we put in our mouth, just because it come's into the house, you don't have to eat it. You have to be strong, have the will power to say NO thank you

    2340 days ago
    I am so sorry that this latest caregiver did not work out for you - I really thought that you had found the right one this time but more power to you for seeing the problem, for retaining your weight loss (I gained back about 6 pounds myself which doesn't sound like much for I had worked so hard to lose it). You can do this .. no .. together WE can do this - keep the attitude, stick to your guns and just keep getting better - this is going to be an AWESOME year, especially since 2013 doesn't seem to have been much good for anyone :(

    Hang in there - never give up emoticon
    2340 days ago
    emoticon emoticon That's wonderful to keep off 20 lbs. What a great starting point for the New Year! emoticon
    2340 days ago
    20 lbs is something to be proud of. A plateau is better than a gain. As a nurse I would definitely advise you to get a new caregiver. One that will do her job. Not one just there for the paycheck.
    2340 days ago
    Congrats on keeping off the 20. I myself agained 30 in 2013. So you are a step ahead of me. Good luck in 2014!
    2340 days ago
    You go girl! You have to stand up for yourself no matter what.

    Keep up the good work. You can do it. emoticon
    2340 days ago
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