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Battle mode is starting

Friday, January 17, 2014

I thought I was doing this a little at a time. I did some small steps at first one at a time. Those small changes stuck, seemed like this was going fairly erratic mood swing free. Well I was wrong. I feel for my boyfriend right now and I am grateful I have him as my best friend. The mood swings are driving me nuts, can't imagine what it must be like for him. I am trying to use exercise to help me refocus. Calling my mom and talking to her helped me a lot today. Sometimes no one call help us like our mothers can. The more reasonable, rational, logical side of me is peeking back through. I have hope that part of me will grow stronger and bring some balance back to me.

The battle between emotion and logic will always be there but usually they meet int he middle and create a balance. Right now emotion is a little heavier and creating an imbalance. I see it for what it is, these are fears, They are not totally unfounded, they come from a real place for real reasons but they are out of proportion. Take a seat back and breathe, Everything takes time and nothing can make it happen faster. Do what you can, when you can. Just keep telling myself, One day at a time, One step a time. Before you know it those days and steps add up and you have reached your goal. I am saying this to myself a lot.

So Mystiqalwolf if you read this a few years down and you are reading this during a very emotional time, just remember you made it through this one, you can make it through the nest one. I believe in me and I believe in the person I will become. I know there are no promises life will be easy. But there will be times when things will be easier. Now is not one of them but then again you have been through other things in the past and are here now. Still able to fight to make your life better,
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