MAMATOYA84
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Letting go...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

At my best I got it all together; I know I can do it. But then the moments of doubt, insecurity, hell just plain old, regular day-to-day stress wipes out the best. One would think letting go... letting go of past hurts, pains, and emotional attachments would be easier, especially, if the letting go is supposed to bring more freedom and clarity into ones life. But those damn, pesky expectations and that victim mentality just lingers and the vicious cycle seems never-ending. Think about it, you know what I mean, when you feel you are really ready to let go of the pain from some past wrong done to you; and just when you know you are at the brink of healing, recovery, and transformation; the doubts, the distrust, the hurt feelings, the anger, the fear just blinds you and floods your perception of reality. (Some call it the devil or the unconscious mind). Well whatever name you give it, I know for me, it's in some way unhealthy and hindering to the healing process. This unpleasant cycle is currently where my life seems to be stuck. But I keep trying cause I know each step gets me closer. Each time I catch and correct myself when thinking "negative" and "unloving" thoughts I get closer. Whenever I bring myself back into the present moment; into the reality that is, I am closer. Every time I slow down enough to remember who and whose I really am, I am closer...closer to my truth, closer to understanding and accepting the beautifully and wonderfully made creature that I am, closer to the indestructible divinity that lives at my core, closer to my Higher Self, closer to the light within, closer to God.
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