1-99 SparkPoints 56

Everything Hurts

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Everything hurts! Yes it is true. Everything hurts. I found myself thinking about where I am and where I was when things were going well.

I realized that I traded in the good things that I was enjoying for food that took me back to all this pain! Let me explain a bit.

I am having so much trouble moving around. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. It is difficult to get dressed and I am once again limited to a few items of clothing because of my weight and I am NOT going to go out and buy a bunch of clothes for this size!

It hurts to sit and it hurts to stand. I can't seem to stand very long so when washing dishes, I have to lean on the counter. My arms feel so heavy and I know that the globulous is causing my back to hurt.

Looking back, I remember that it didn't take too many pounds off before I was feeling a difference in my energy and the way I felt. I can remember the day I realized that I wasn't having to lean on the counter to wash dishes. I also remember looking forward to finding little ways to get more movement in. I would find myself dancing around the house with my granddaughter. I also remember being able to fit into clothes that I hadn't worn in a long time.

What happened to those days? I traded them for some momentary delights of food that really only made me happy for a moment and then they caused me so much grief.

I need to find the desire within me to make my health important again. I worked hard to get off my meds and now I am back on them and miserable.

I can do this. It is just going to take time. One day at a time. I am ready to do this. I am going to take my life back!

One big thing is that I have got to shut off the negative thinking that is skinkin' up my mind and I need to get to the store and get some good food in this house.

Tomorrow I take my hubster to get his cast removed (hopefully). He was in a car accident a couple days before Christmas. Him being here all day everyday has really caused me to overeat. I can't wait for him to go back to work. LOL When we get back, I will be stopping at the store for food so I have some good things to eat so I am looking forward to that!

This year is NOT going to be like last year! This is the year that I get closer to my goal!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • -DAVE-
    I feel for you and also have significant pain. Is sucks.

    What helps me is to think of the day that the pain will be gone. You need to be hopeful that one day your pain will disappear after all your changes.

    You sound optimistic and have goals for this year. Good for you. I have set monthly goals which will cause myself to think more short term. have you tried that instead of '2014, I will do such and such"? It does help.

    Keep it up and I'm sure you will reach your goals. Like you said, negative thinkin is indeed a stinkin....


    2394 days ago
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    2420 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    I'm so very sorry for the way you're feeling physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I hope your hubby's leg has healed, so he will no longer be a distraction to you, as you continue with your lifestyle change journey. Trust in God, that He has already led you through this process, and He's in the fiery furnace with you, holding you with his mighty right hand, bringing you out as PURE GOLD on the other side!

    You have the mental picture of how you looked, felt, worked, with energy to spare, so trust that He's working that in you, STILL! "You can do all things through Christ, who gives you strength!" Philippians 4:13

    Rest in God's arms, as He transforms His Temple!

    Be blessed,

    - Nancy Jean -
    2421 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14126107
    So sorry you are feeling under the weather. Hope your hubby's leg has healed well. Hope you got the food you needed to get for your weight loss journey.

    Hang in there!

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    100+ Pounds Team
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    2422 days ago
    You said a few things that really resonated with me. Maybe I can say something to you: LOVE YOU TODAY. LOVE YOU TODAY. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. LOVE YOU TODAY. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, with room for improvement.

    Act like you're already at your goal weight. Do you WANT a HO-Ho?

    You can do this. It's been in you all along!

    2423 days ago
    Stay focused, stay committed, and stay truthful with yourself emoticon
    2424 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    I wish you the very best! You are supported!
    2425 days ago
    You can do it.
    2426 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Some choices we make need to be re-evaluated like you have done here so that appropriate action is taken and victories won. Hug, hug -- Evelyn
    2426 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8041482
    emoticon emoticon I had a tkr 3 yrs ago & I"m still having problems & it won't get better.

    I hope u can get back 2 what ur able 2 do cause I know how u feel when u can't do what u were doing be4 u got ill.
    2426 days ago
    Susan, you have a way with words and of not only getting yourself motivated, but me too. Our relationship with food is often so complicated and it is hard, but not impossible, to break those old, familiar patterns of relying on food as the answer to our problems. I have been on Spark People for over 3 1/2 years and I still struggle. But struggling is okay; giving up isn't. I am so proud of you for your determination and your commitment to take back your life. You said it well when you said this is a one day at a time process.
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    2426 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/6/2014 11:16:47 AM
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    2427 days ago
    You can do it! Our minds are tough to reprogram, I struggle with mine daily but I know it can be done and I'm not stopping. I'm rooting for you all the way Sooz! emoticon emoticon
    2427 days ago
  • -MOMLY-
    emoticon You just wrote my story for me, except I've never been able to get any weight off, just keep going up and up. You give me hope that I may some day actually wash dishes without leaning on the counter because my back is killing me.
    We will win this battle!!! emoticon
    2427 days ago
    2427 days ago
    I can so relate to everything you wrote! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon together!
    2427 days ago
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    2427 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    You can do this-you know how. Imagine yourself as who you want to be. Now accept that is who you are now and you're there.
    2427 days ago
    I hope that 2014 is your year!! Check out the Chair Exercise team and some of the seated workout videos. All the best to you and hubby!
    2427 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14386678
    All the best, I know how it feels to have aching joints....,
    2427 days ago
    May it be the year for both of us.
    2427 days ago
    Remembering how you felt with less weight will be your motivation. Even small losses will make a difference. I'm looking forward to reading about your success. You WILL have success.
    2427 days ago
  • SBFT84
    I am looking for my lost motivation, as well. I was able to gain back the fat I had "lost", so I should be able to gain back my motivation! Thanks for blogging this painful, unhappy place of regain and limited lifestyle. Limited clothes... I have a closet full of clothes too small. I bought new clothes when I got to my goal size and now they don't fit and I am too ashamed to buy new clothes to fit my huge size of today.
    2428 days ago
    I'm hoping for a better year than last year I want to lose 20 lbs that's all I'm asking for I know I need to lose 100 lbs but I'll take 20 so that is what I'm shooting for. I know we can meet our goals. Glad to see your sparking at this time sometimes I'm up early !! emoticon emoticon

    2428 days ago
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