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when is enough enough and when do you decide

Sunday, February 16, 2014

For some time now I have had these feelings of being used by a certain friend.
This person is someone alot younger than me, and at first it felt almost like they needed me as a friend for advice and to sort of play a role of an older advisor, etc.
But now, I am beginning to see the situation as more of them using me.
I am often asked for favors, and maybe I am to blame partly because I would always tell them "you can depend on me, you can rely on me, I am a true friend, I will be there when no one else is"
So now, I see that they will text me, say hi, start up a normal conversation, and by the 2nd or 3rd text they are asking me for a favor.
Can I babysit, can I give them a ride, and the latest was money.
I am not a lender, I do not have money to lend.
AND I NEVER BORROW what I cannot pay back. So, therefore, I never borrow.
So, when I last talked to them, I had to tell them NO, to yet another favor.
and here is what they did.
Sent a friend to my house to ask me for the SAME exact favor, only to make me think it was for them.
Me knowing full well, these two are also friends, so here I am, having to say no I cant help you out.
But I have no way of proving it.
I can only speculate and I feel I am right.
It is way too much of a coincidence that the two seperate people would ask for the same favor in the same day.
I am not gullible and I am so done playing games.
It is going to hurt, mostly me I assume, to tell this person not to contact me anymore if all they want is what I can do for them or give them or take them or whatever.
I am tired of feeling used and whats worse, I am tired of feeling like they are sitting there thinking they have pulled the wool over my eyes, when indeed, they have not!!!
My grand plan had been to wait til they asked for another favor, and just say to them, if my friendship is only based on what I can provide to you, then we can no longer be friends.
But now I believe they had caught on that I had caught on to them, so they began asking others to contact me on their behalf.
This person is younger than me and so maybe they thought I wanted to be friends with them so badly I would do whatever they asked just to keep them and that isnt the case.
I am just wondering if I should call them out on this or just wait and let them come to me again as I had planned.
I really do not want conflict, but I have to let them know that I am not dumb or gullible or someone who can be bummed to death.
Just wondering what others think?
other than that, I have just had a totally 100 percent OFF and LOST weekend.
Began Friday when honey took me out to eat at a seafood place for Valentines.
Then Saturday, we stayed in and fixed burgers and watched movies all night.
Now today, he had to go back to work on night shift, so I got up early and fixed him gravy and biscuits.
And me too, no need to lie about it.
I have just put sparking and counting and tracking on hold all weekend and now I have to ease my way back in.
Still cold here, the rain came and packed down the frozen ground and snow and made it hard and slick and I havent left the house today.
But a change is coming, we are supposed to see 70 by Thursday and I cannot wait.
Going to clean off my porch, clean up around my yard, clean out my car, bathe and groom my dog and of course, go walking.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TOOBUSY035
    This person is not a friend and I am sure it is sad and hurtful to realize their true intentions. If they were a friend they would know that you do not lend money. I am not one for confrontation, not even a little bit. So I would so, if they never contact you again then you win, they got the message without having to spell it out. I am not a person that has to get things off my chest, maybe you are so in that case it may be important to you to let her/him know how you feel. If I was in this situation I would be glad the user is out of my life.
    Good luck and I hope you find a circle of friends that are worthy of your loyalty.
    2442 days ago
    emoticon Friends shouldn't want anything but your friendship emoticon

    Be careful walking if it's icy
    2443 days ago
    Probably time to draw the line, don't you think? What is there after they want your money? I bet the 70's will be very welcome, it was here. Good luck with your young "friend".
    2443 days ago
    It certainly sounds like you've had enough - in the end, it's not helping anyone, and it's hurting yourself. Gotta say no when you aren't comfortable with it. Best wishes with it, and enjoy the warm weather coming soon!

    2443 days ago
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