Okay... What in the world is it going to take???

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

This is the 3rd start on this weight loss/getting back in shape journey.

This time around I'm going to blog about my journey. MAYBE, that will be the kick in the pants I need to hold myself accountable.

We'll see.

I joined SparkPeople September 2012. I was active on this site for 6 weeks, and quit for no apparent reason. Then, I didn't come back for 13 months... October 2013. The same thing happened again... I was good until the day after Christmas, and then was gone for almost 50 days, until just last week.

Hummm..... There's a pattern here.

I had lost 10 pounds, and have since put it back on. What a waste of effort and time. Plus it's not good to do that to my body. I'm going to have to tackle this as though it's my job, or my life depends on it. At least until I get some momentum built, and it becomes a habit again.

When I was younger and fit, I would feel weird, and out-of-sorts if I didn't workout for a few days. Like a pent up race horse. Now just getting going is ridiculously difficult. These days I'm sore everyday from just daily life. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I had a hard workout the day before... EVERY day. But no... I'm not exercising at all, and that has to be a huge part of it. I feel achy and sore all over, and as I walk up and down stairs my knees have recently started giving me pain. I've been to the doctor, and there's no underlying health issues, so I'm good to go with my exercising. I just have to be a bit careful with my knees, at least until I get my weight down and strength back up. I also don't have to take any medications. I was shocked to learn how many people in this country are on meds!

My goal is to get my NORMAL self back.

For the last few years I've been really struggling. It's gradually gotten worse with time... not feeling like I used to, always tired and sore, and for no apparent reason. Of course, you'd never know it by observing me. (Makes me wonder who else is suffering in silence, and just covering it up.) I never thought I would feel this lousy on a regular, daily basis. It sort of crept up on me. Almost starting to feel like the new norm. It's amazing what you'll put up with, especially when distracted with work and daily life. I always knew it wasn't right, and wanted to do something about it, but life sort of gets in the way (or I should say I ALLOWED it to) of making myself a priority. There's always something more 'important' to deal with or focus on.

Or so I thought.

That's all changing now.

It's winter now, and in my experience, I do a lot better losing weight this time of year. It's nice and cool for working up a sweat. Since gaining weight, I hate working out in the heat. I also feel like it's the perfect time to get this going BEFORE spring and summer gets here. I don't want to feel embarrassed, or uncomfortable wearing my shorts and tank tops... dare I say bikini?

I have my home gym all set up and organized now. So there's no excuse for not having the space, or equipment that I want. I even have a little space in my home office to workout with Coach Nicole or YouTube videos, if I choose to.

Just getting started is the hardest part, and I really don't understand why. I used to workout like a 'crazy' person when I was younger, so why the loss of motivation? I guess 'A body at rest tends to stay at rest', is really true. :-/

If I could go back in time and give myself (or anyone for that matter... unsolicited) advice, it would be to not let life get in the way of your health, happiness, well-being, etc. No job, relationship, or ANY life situation is worth that. Pay attention to what you're doing, or NOT doing, every day. If you don't, you'll end up with time passing, and before you know it, you've set yourself up with new, not so healthy, habits to correct. For me, it was not doing my weight training. Then on top of that, I should have realized that the ratio to carbs, proteins and fats needed to be adjusted.

Those two things made for a very bad combo.

Another issue for me is to not in the past. Don't do the... 'I USED to be able to do this or that'... and beat yourself up over it. That gets maddening when you used to be able to not just DO things, (sports, heavy/difficult jobs, etc.) but EXCEL at them. Then one day, you find yourself in a situation where you're in worse shape than you'd ever imagine yourself to be in. It seems to come out of nowhere.

That's a huge pendulum swing.

I've since became kinder to myself with my internal thoughts.

It's like I've just been getting by, 'looking' normal and functional, and living life. Then, when I require myself to do anything out of the ordinary daily life, I'm huffin' and puffin' or a joint is screaming at me... 'You better stop doing that, or you're REALLY going to regret it!'

I didn't listen the first few times, and paid for it for days.

So this is the beginning of the journey to get back to my normal, strong, healthy, vivacious, UNSTOPPABLE, self again. I sure miss feeling like that. Amazing how quickly the physical body can change/deteriorate when you don't give it what it needs. It really did change drastically in a relatively short period of time. I know if I don't start now, I could end up sick with diabetes, or heart disease, or worse.

This change in lifestyle has to happen now, so I can at least say I gave myself a fair fighting chance. If I wait too much longer, who knows what might happen, and I may not be able to tackle this issue the way I can now.

Thanks for listening, and if you can relate at all, or have just words of encouragement, I'd love to hear from you! I can sure use it!

~Peace and Love~
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can relate and totally understand ...i'm so glad you are here doing this and not giving up on yourself. I believe you will succeed. I'm here for you emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2201 days ago
    Barbara - great blog! And it's even greater to see you back on SP :)

    I look forward to reading your updates on how your progress is moving along.

    2231 days ago
    Love how honest you were with yourself in your blog! You sound determined and strong...ready to start making progress! I'm proud of you and I am cheering you on.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2232 days ago
  • SHINY5711
    There are no hugs big enough!!!! emoticon It sounds to me like your head is in a good place! You can do this! Your determination shines through. We are here for you! USE US! emoticon
    2232 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon , just keep trying .. great blog
    2232 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4274730
    I can definitely related. I've done this quite a few times but have never made it to the finish line. I almost always just up and quit, like you said you did.

    I guess what I'm doing differently this time is not just the blogging, but I'm becoming more active with my SparkFriends and Spark Teams. Honestly, what that does is make me feel like I have a responsibility to offer support to others, especially when they offer it to me. It keeps me coming back. I love all of these awesome people I've "met", and knowing that they are rooting me on keeps me motivated.

    I also continue to look at people's profiles and comment. I want to be like those people who have succeeded. I want to be fit and fabulous and healthy. Even now, I'm sitting on the couch in the same spot I've been all day. Ok, yes, I know I'm being lazy. I have a treadmill. I have AmazonPrime with Jillian Michaels videos. I have options. But I don't use them. I don't know why. I'm enjoying being lazy right now. Maybe it is the rain and the cold, I don't know. So, I'm focusing on food. If I'm not exercising now, I'm going to kill it on the food front. I've set myself a goal of starting to exercise in March. Once March 1 hits, that's it, I can't keep making excuses.

    We know how great being fit makes us's a wonder we have such a hard time doing the work to get there!

    You're here and that counts for something. Just stay active here and don't let yourself slip away!
    2233 days ago
    You can do this. It took me a long time to finally get to the point where I was able to get off the start/stop train. You will get there!

    2233 days ago
    emoticon MJEFFERSON23 for taking the time to comment on my first blog! I really appreciate the encouragement!

    2233 days ago
  • JLR080500

    I have done the same thing over a course of a few years.
    2233 days ago
    I know it's cliche but, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" emoticon
    2233 days ago
    I 'tried' the site a couple times before becoming 'serious' and 'being' healthy' wasn't (isn't) enough for me. I'm a semi-reformed couch potato (give me a good book, fire and dark chocolate) so moving, particularly in the winter is not high on my list...
    Wonderful that you have a home gym, but I agree, rolling out of bed and just getting STARTED can be daunting...
    Do you have something to shoot for - a goal out there 6 months from now? Wearing a swimsuit; biking to work; running a race? The first worked for me and the others (walking not running) have proven ways to keep me coming back.
    Good luck.
    I know emoticon
    2233 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8834488
    I have done the exact same thing....start, stop, start, stop, all for no apparent reason. This time I am paying attention to my streaks...logging in, huddling. - Just these little things are making this seem like I am doing something right this time. I log in every moring, and get my positive attitude going for the day. Good luck on your Journey! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2233 days ago
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