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walking alone isnt lonely

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Didnt blog yesterday, but wanted to say thanks to all who commented on my little issue I am having with this friend.
I guess I can see they arent really a friend, and better to get out while the getting is good.
I find, going back thru some blogs, and journal entries, that I have for about 2 years now had alot of issues with toxic people in my life.
And seeing that I am part of the problem, I choose these people, I choose them maybe because they are damaged and I can relate.
The difference is, I am trying to heal and repair the damage, my own damage, and they arent.
They, want to drag me back down to where I was, where they still are.
I am learning alot of this from my son, as I read his posts about NA and leaving behind those who arent ready to change.
So, yesterday I had an appointment, that turned into an all day event.
But in between waiting, and thru lunch, I was able to go to the park and enjoy the first really sunny day we have seen in weeks.
I even put the car windows down a little yesterday.
Two of my friends wanted me to join them in Zumba last night, but I was so tired and didnt feel like moving, let alone REALLY moving.
One friend kept insisting I go.
Despite me telling her how bad I felt and yes, I am sure I would have felt better once I started moving, but I am still really concerned about injury.
I dont know where my vitamin d number stands right now, but in December it was only 19.
Very severe deficit.
So, my other friend, who is an RN, told me, dont go if you arent comfortable, she has been doing it awhile and told me that injury is a possibility.
But I did walk yesterday and was so tired.
35 minutes was pushing it for me.
I have alot of people ask to come walking with me. I dont want to offend anyone, or stop them from walking, but my walk, is my alone time.
I have my music, which is a big part of my walk, and just my alone time.
My habits have to change, I have to get back to walking more and eating less, or at least eating less carbs and junk as I have been.
Went to bed at 10 last night, was so exhausted and that meant I woke up at 5am.
So I got up, took a shower, made coffee, and now going to get ready and run some errands, have a salad lunch and come home to clean house.
Pics from yesterday.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You look like you are only wearing a Tshirt. How nice!!!

    I usually walk alone (well, with my dog) but I do love company sometimes. I always walk longer when lost in chitchat!
    2440 days ago
    Almost all of my friends have let me down. I do most everything alone. I enjoy my own company. My husband and I let go of some friends who were very toxic they were constantly fighting and drinking about a year ago. The husband just hurt the wife so bad she was in the hospital with brain unjuries. NOT GOOD people! I'm so glad we don't talk to him any more. You do what makes you happy. It's good that you know how to say NO!
    2440 days ago
  • SHELL1400_85
    I prefer walking alone as well unless it is a day for a family walk. But when I want a "power walk" it's better to go by myself lol.
    I know what you mean about toxic people. I have had a few of those. I don't think they always know that they are toxic to us though. My friends would always say things like "oh treat yourself to this ice cream" even if they knew I was trying to watch my food, and the problem was they would say things like that almost every day. Well it's not a treat if you have it every day! Good luck to you.

    emoticon emoticon
    2440 days ago
    As Oprah always said... "we teach people how to treat us" A hard lesson for most of us to learn. Enjoy your walk... emoticon
    2440 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3468195
    I always walk alone, really need that time, with my music too, gets me in a good mood!! emoticon
    2440 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12521021
    Good luck - I too prefer to walk alone. It is my time to reflect on the day and refresh myself. And I agree about toxic people and those who you think are 'friends'. It's hard to realize not everyone who claims to be a friend is one. Have a great day! emoticon
    2440 days ago
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