sugar tastes good, but no more sugar coating for me!!!!
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Decided to blog early today. I have to be accountable for my actions and so it begins today.
I hadnt been paying close attention to the scale lately.
I knew I had gained weight, have been gaining weight back!!
Tuesday is my usual weigh in day, but I skipped it.
For some reason I decided to get on the scale today. It wasnt terrible, but it wasnt good!
So as I am standing there on the scale, I say to myself, whatever was was and whatever is going to be STARTS TODAY!!!
No more do I want to dread getting on the scale, or dread trying to find something to wear when I have to go someplace. I sold all of my "fat" clothes last year and now, I am finding my new clothes are getting more stretched out as I try to squeeze the 16 lbs I have gained into them.
I was living pretty well with the fact I had gained some of my weight back.
I had the excuse of my broken foot all last year to use. couldnt walk as I had been, low vitamin d.
So that weight gain, I was living with, but I have gained an additional 5 lbs since I seen my doctor on Feb. 12th, that is less than a month I have gained 5 lbs!!!
At that rate, all my hard work and all the pounds I lost in 2012 will be erased and forgotten and I am not even about to let that happen.
I still remember the hard work, getting out of my warm bed at 6 am to go walk an hour, or two, going back in the evening, hot sun beaming down, sweat pouring.
The feeling of joy every time I got on the scale to see another 1 or 2 or 3 lb loss!!!!
I even recall what I was eating and what I wasnt.
I know I cant go back and change it, but I can start today.
No more comparing how much I weighed a year ago, or a month ago. It has to start today, from here.
So, I did some weights, dumbbells and the stair stepper. I would go walking, but I cannot breathe. One minute my head is all but closed off and the next I am dripping and draining, and wondered if people would find it strange to see a woman with a tissue sticking out of her right nostril.
So, I plan to stay inside today, and nurse this """whatever it is""".
But back to the weight.
Accountability, I have been putting off facing the truth of my weight gain and living in the past glory of my weight loss for too long.
If I do not make the necessary changes now, I am going to be too far gone to ever say I lost a very large amount of weight, the gap is closing in.
I start today.
I have to be honest with myself first, and I havent been wathcing what I eat. Not so much as I did before. I have been snacking more. It does me no good to buy lowfat, low cal snacks, like the weight watchers 2 point red velvet cakes, when I end up eating 3 at one time.
That is accountability.
I have been eating junk. I still only drink water, skim milk and coffee, but what good does it to to drink coffee when I add two spoonfuls of sweet creamer!!!
All these little things are adding up.
To more calories, more sugar, more carbs, more fat, and more pounds.
I did set a weight goal and a deadline. Just to revamp my plan and get back on track.
Nothing long term, and no great expectations. As some of you may know, my son is coming up on having 3 years clean thru the NA program, he is very active in NA and thru him I have done alot of reading about it. They follow the creed, JUST FOR TODAY. now while I have set some goals, to lose some weight, I cannot do anything more than get thru each day, one day at a time, that is what I am going to do, each day, one day, til it adds up.
Just a simple 2 lb a week til I lose 16 pounds.
And I do not sit here with a big dumb grin on my face thinking I have it all figured out and I will actually lose 16 pounds in 2 months.
But I do sit here with a satisified look and a feeling inside that I know that while I might not make that particular goal, I will make it, eventually.
I am saying this, putting it in writing, holding myself accountable for my most recent down turn and its all on me.
Now its time to get back into the right frame of mind, and meet those overall goals.
Weight loss, good mental, physical and emotional health.
I start today.