I don't know how

The last time I was on here was about November, 2009. So much has happened. It's all a repeat. It always my health. There is hardly ever any other news.

I have changed jobs so many times I can't keep up with it. I now work a Burger King during breakfast. I am not too worried about food from there. I usually don't get a break.

My weight had gone up to over 200 lbs (I'm 5'3") The highest I've ever gone. My husband decided he wanted to lose weight, so I said "Good, Let's go!" That was 2 1/2 months ago. I have lost 20 lbs. He has lost about 15, but he isn't trying that hard.

My mom died from Lymphoma on Feb 21, the day after her 76th birthday. We were so close. I can barely handle it. My dad died in 2004. I want to talk to her every day. It still hurts so bad.

About 1 1/2 to 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Lupus and now Sjogen's . I got most of the pain under control, except when Mom died. Then I hurt bad.

And finally, on March 25, I had a mini-stroke. They don't know why, what caused it, or any problems. Everything was normal, CT scan, EKG, Eco ??? for my heart, carotid arteries, everything normal. They did MRI on my brain and found a blood clot on left side of brain, They don't know what caused it.

So I don't really know how to do it anymore. I want to lose the weight and change my lifestyle. How????? I have nobody to help me, support me. I'm not on here very much to keep support from here.