why have you left me here all alone??????
Wednesday, April 09, 2014
I have a friend who posted that she has lost 30 pounds.
I have a friend who has posted that he has lost 13 pounds, in 2 weeks.
All around me, i see people sharing their fortune, and happiness about their weight loss.
and I sit here, asking, why not me?
Why can I NOT lose a single pound?
What am I not doing, what am I doing wrong, what can I do differently?
I am counting calories.
Eating zero junk food.
Eating very little bread.
No deep fried foods.
I am getting my protein.
Drinking my water.
What is going on? I wonder if my body has gone into some kind of protective mode and is hanging on to fat.
I just dont understand this.
If it were a month or two I could see it and say I just need to work a little harder and eat a little less.
But I havent lost a single pound in a year.
I gained 16 last year.
After having lost 70 in 2012.
Now, well into 2014 and I am right where I was a year ago.
No harm no foul?????
No, that isnt true, its very harmful to my mind, to my self esteem, to my ability to keep trying.
I sometimes sit here and just feel like getting in my car and going to the nearest fast food place and eating burgers and fries and chocolate cake and shakes and then going to buy a case of beer.
I mean, whats the point in counting calories and watching every morsel and walking and living in this constant state of why why why.
When its getting me no where.
I have only tried prescription diet pills once.
A doctor put me on phentermine and of course I didnt lose a single pound then either.
I dont want to go that route, with supplements and such.
Whey protein is about as close to a supplement as I try.
Vitamins, fish oil, vitamin d and calcium and iron tablets and fiber.
So, what is going on, I have to go back to my doctor in May and am going to ask her to please do some advanced testing on me, hormones, and such to see if there is something I am missing.
I honestly just dont know what else to do.
Adding some more weights to see if that might help, trying to get outdoors more and be a little more active.
Cutting back on coffee.
Trying to add more walking, since the weather is improving, I have been walking a little more.
I am at a loss, but not for pounds!!!!
I dread getting on the scale and so I havent really been tracking my weight on here.
When I do see a pound gone, it is always back before the next weigh in.
I fluctuate 2 to 3 pounds every week or two.
with no real results, the scale just isnt going down.
I am going to cut another 100 calories per day out of my diet and see if that shows any results and add more veggies.
I started this week with a chard, kale, spinahch spring mix and peppers.
So tonight I am going to make myself a healthy spring salad with some tuna.
Yes, I do know HOW to eat healthy, and exercise.
Weight loss is just hiding from me right now for some reason, I have got to get it back!!
I promised myself a pedicure when I lost 10 pounds, at this rate I will never get it.