Feeling down & needed to vent
Monday, April 21, 2014
Today is the worst I've felt in a long time. Not sure if it's all the sugar I consumed yesterday, or if it's just depression rearing its ugly head again. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry. I am really struggling emotionally lately. I've been eating like crap and haven't exercised at all, so it's really no surprise that I've gained back nearly all of what I lost with my DietBet in November. I feel so overwhelmed by everything in my life and I can't seem to get motivated to do anything that I need to do. My house is a wreck all the time - there's stuff everywhere - and I hate it, but there's so much of it I don't know how to start. I can't even get motivated to do much of anything at work...just the bare minimum. And I'm forgetting things all the time, which makes me look bad. If I'm brutally honest, I'm actually nervous that I will lose my job if I can't get it together but even that doesn't motivate me to get going.
Most of my extended family celebrated Easter together at my aunt's house, which was nice. It's good to see everyone and catch up / visit with them. Seeing my cousins all losing weight and getting healthy is bittersweet for me. I am genuinely happy for them, but it makes me even more self conscious and unhappy with myself.
Things will get better, right?