May Day. Good day to take a step forward in my personal health. A new start in any way possible whether it be large or small steps. As long as I step forward from today, then I am on the right track to making larger strides to a better me.
Got to get serious. Using the word the doctor used yesterday...got to get aggressive with my lowering carbs, with my exercise, with my insulin, with my stress level if I want to get better and not continue to get worse. He put me on another new med that is making me feel...for lack of a better word...yucky today. VERY tired, lungs feel heavy and ache, dry but not thirsty or hungry. So what are my goals for myself today?
1) Stay awake for awhile this morning instead of heading back to bed to rest.
I have made it 2 hours and 45 minutes after waking this morning, with help of stepping into the Spark People world and trying to get to know the site.
2) Lower my carb intake with each food choice I make, so far...
with the only item I have eaten today although I should eat more but I am not up to it today yet.
3) Remind myself and keep in mind I will take this seriously every single day, even if it is hour by hour, minute by minute.
4) My biggest and hardest goal today is to get on my elliptical bike, even if it is for a short time. I know the realistic view on this is that my muscles are weak and my medication makes me weak and tired. And this will be extremely difficult for me for a long time span. I choose to start small and work my way up in the future. As long as I do it.
5) Drink water/fluids more. I LOVE my diet Pepsi. I know I need more water. I also need more fluids due to this new med I was put on yesterday.
so far so good.
It feels good to write. I live in a house of men. Stress is so amazingly high currently. I foresee that going down quite a bit in the next few months. So I am trying to see the light through the clouds.
I need to manage my blood sugar levels, without testing more than fasting and bedtime. My a1c was 7.9% as of yesterday. It went up .9% in the past three months. My cholesterol is great, my triglycerides are great. It is my blood sugars and blood pressure which the doctor said the stress in my life may have a lot to do with. Must go back to the doctor the end of July.
So, I sit. I try to muster up what I need to take me to success. I have been educated for more than 20 years on all I need to know. I have researched many things to help me that work. I know what I need to do and what must be done. Now...I just have to do it and stick with it forever.
I feel I have made realistic goals for today considering the side effects I am dealing with from all the medications I am on. To some these steps are not aggressive enough. For me, today, they are extremely aggressive without putting myself in harms way. I want to prove to myself, and others I can do this. I can lower my weight, my blood pressure, my a1c. I am over 200 lbs. I was around 100 lbs all my life until after my second child. Even then I never got above 140 lbs. My 3rd child...I took insulin 5 times a day during pregnancy because of ketones in my urine. I put on over 50 lbs and got 30 of it off briefly. I was off the shots after he was born. No medication at that time. I had gestational diabetes with my first and third sons. First was controlled by diet and exercise. Third, I was not given that option. Just one day out of the blue...I am now on insulin shots. It was a shock, I had been doing everything right. I have come to learn I had no control of that outcome. Diabetes runs thick in my family. Later I was diagnosed as insulin resistant. Now type 2 insulin resistant. I am on both Levimir and the highest dose of metformin er. No cap on units of Levimir. I have tried a plethora of other medications for the diabetes. Some landing me in the hospital on multiple accounts. I have seen specialist for diabetes and kidneys. I sit back and view my life and how I live it...... I have stress. Stress that WILL eventually lower if not go away. I have less ability to exercise. Something I need to raise my stamina on. That will take hard work and be constant at. This is my biggest challenge due to sore joints, weak muscles, joints that fall out of place, heavy achy lungs, and over all weakness and tiredness. If I start big, then I tend to have to recuperate from the over pushing of myself. So I think the smartest thing is to start small and work my way up and be consistent. And put myself first! That is huge for me too! I have to remind myself of that. I need to have a happy and healthy mind, body and soul in order to help and be there for those around me. I tend to put others before me. This is a habit I need to break and not feel guilty about it. But it is easier said than done! I have 3 kids. Yes 2 of them are older and one is younger. And a husband. I guess I am old school where the mom takes care of everyone before herself. Make sure they are healthy and happy. Make sure their needs and wants are met before my own. I guess I was taught it was selfish to think of yourself first. And...in some cases I suppose that still stands. But when it comes to health I should know better and put myself first. OR at least make time for myself and my needs.
I am feeling more up beat. More empowered with myself after writing. I know I can do this if I do it in a way that doesn't over push what I can realistically handle.
Time to go find something else to do. Feeling more perky, maybe I will see what I can get done with my goals.