MAMABEAR372
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Proud of myself for yesterday

Friday, May 02, 2014

Yesterday I managed to motivate myself in the morning more than I thought I was going to. I stayed out of bed, which may seem stupid to some people but is very hard to do for me. I exercised twice as long as I set out to do or thought I could manage. I am not sure if I over did it.
I was put on a new medication a couple days ago. In the literature it said to not take ibuprophen while on this medication so I stopped. Usually I take it for my elbow and shoulder mainly, sometimes the pain in my lungs and other places. Today I woke up feeling like emoticon I had been hit by a truck and could not move! emoticon I told my husband. He kissed me and asked me if that made it feel better. Inside I smiled, outside I could barely breathe due to the pain. I have kids to get to school..so like all other mornings I pry myself out of bed, get dressed enough to go outside, go to the bathroom, check my blood, take my insulin, write my numbers down, and check my weight. I weigh less. That is good but not really my goal. It is a perk to my strides to be healthy. I am happy I lost a couple pounds but look at the bigger picture. I check on the kids to make sure they are getting ready for school, and dress myself a little more carefully. I think about a bra. ok. This is tough. Hurts to move. I choose a sports bra. It rolls on one side, I text my husband that I lost a couple pounds but wish he was there to fix my bra for me. People don't understand the amount of pain I have. wiping in the bathroom is painful and difficult to do. It is embarrassing! I take the kids to school and come home and get on the computer to talk to the pharmacist to see what I can take for pain. I get an answer and take some ibuprophen. So, I sit here waiting for it to kick in as I write.
Today's plan... I realize I need more calories. I had a slip up with self control last night. Beat myself up over it. We will see how much self control I have today. It will reflect in my bsl. I need to get in the habit of recording all my food and such on here. I do well in the mornings but in the evenings, not so much. I plan on looking around the website and reading some things on stuff that effects me and my health. If the pain med kicks in I will get on the elliptical bike. I need to drink more water. This med makes me not want to eat or drink and very tired. I am going over grocery list in my head trying to low carb the list while keeping my family happy. I need to figure out how to do that on here so I can just print out the list.
On my mind is our small vacation with the kids. I never know when it will be the last vacation with all of us together since 2 of the kids are 18 and 21. So I just invite them and if they can go they tend to go, and if they can't I feel weird because a piece of me is missing. I guess some could say I am experiencing some empty nest syndrome even though I have one left at home. It is hard on him too because he isn't just losing one brother, he is losing two at the same time. They are not gone forever, just moving out. It is a hard adjustment for all of us. I am happy for them, but sad for my 3rd son who is only 10 and will suddenly live like an only child. Anyway, back to the vacation thoughts. I paid for a cottage rental for a few nights in June. It is something we all need after this exhaustingly stressful year so far. Some quiet and peace. I am excited. I got my folding rocker ready to go, and made sure the dog can stay with us. I need to figure out food and exercise. I plan on walking with the dog quite a bit emoticon . I know there is bike rental and swimming too. With the dog most likely being my responsibility to take care of the whole trip it will probably be hard for me to do those last 2 things. Sitting by the fire and waking up knowing I have no urgent places to go will be nice. I know my husband is anxious for that time to come.
OMG this new med makes me so COLD! Honestly that is what motivated me to exercise earlier than I had planned yesterday! I was so cold I put 2 coats on and fuzzy boots and exercised and I was still cold! My husband was shocked how cold I was because I usually run hot. Maybe the heating pad will be my friend today...
Some good things in my life today emoticon ...no headache, neck seems to be a little better, I lost a couple pounds emoticon , I got roughly 8 hours of sleep, and I middle son is being easier to deal with emoticon . That last one is strange I know but he and his hormones have been the highest form of my stress this past year. I think my last doctor appointment helped him realize to stop pushing my buttons because it is not good for me....and it isn't getting him anywhere so he has been playing nice since then.
I wonder if my weight will continue to go down emoticon ...swim suit! Eh I will put that in the back of my mind as a perk to my journey. I need my blood pressure down and my a1c down too. If I can get and keep those under control, then I can look into having rheumatoid arthritis and helping myself with that. Until then, I will push through the pain and power on to controlling my numbers! emoticon
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