Friday, May 09, 2014
Told myself I would blog every day. I believe my body is telling me to rest. But my mind is telling me to exercise. I guess I will find a compromise. Maybe I will do weighs in my arms today and let my legs rest.
Feeling flubby today. Flabby and Tubby. I look at my belly and legs and don't like what I see. I wish it was like clay, and I could just pull it off. My husband notices a difference. But I don't so much. And yeah, I know my goal is for my A1c to go down and my blood pressure to go down....it is hard for a girl...a woman.. that was under weight most of her life, see herself in a mirror and have it not match what is in her head. Pictures are worse. Depressing.
I look forward to going to whole foods and sam's club tomorrow with most of my family. I wish I could leave earlier in the day but have to wait till one kid gets done with his shift at work.
The boys gave me my mother's day gift already (2 days ago). A gift I never thought I would get. I handled it badly. I thought they over spent. They didn't but I feel bad for how I handled it. I know I will enjoy it and do love the gift. I think it is engrained in me to not believe I deserve gifts. Not big ones like this one anyway. Concert tickets. They, for kids, spent a lot. And the mom in me didn't want them to spend so much on me. I think I was in shock. I wish I hadn't acted the way I did. I feel really bad. I tried to fix my reaction yesterday with them.
I will enjoy the concert quite a bit, but my age and health ... I just can not do the things I used to enjoy. But I will find a way to have fun that day. Thankfully my husband is supporting my limitations I will have that day.
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. And If you are a mom....Happy Mommy's Day to you!!!!