Thursday, May 29, 2014
Oh where did the week go to? Sick kids, emotions running deep, crazy work things happening....I blinked and it was gone. So much going on this time of year. So many changes that are big and extreme to me. But it is life. Life doesn't stop happening if you want it to. It goes on and you have to find a way to deal with it. AND be happy with it.
So, that is what I am doing. One more week until my middle son graduates. Thankfully my husband will get to watch. St Louis will have to wait...hopefully forever! Nothing against St. Louis, it is a great city, just don't want to uproot and move there. Not at this time in my life. Things move so fast. And my husband's work is demanding. St. Louis may not be out of the cards, but for now it is on hold until we see more of what is going on.
I noticed this morning a paper laying on a table in the living room. It is a cost breakdown of my oldest son's expenses and earnings. He is getting closer to moving out on his own too. I am glad for him but I will miss him. He and I have gone through more together than the rest of the family as his biological father isn't in the picture. We had to make it on our own for part of his life. I was young and in over my head. But we made it.
My youngest is contemplating having one more year in elementary school before he moves on to middle school. I try to tell him he will have all the same friends and make many more. There will be clubs and sports to get in to. And that he will be ok.
Oh boy, just got word hubby is on call again this week. That leaves me in charge alone again. I don't have an issue with that but it is much nicer to parent teenage boys when Dad can say no and they listen. lol. Oh well more time for me to work out I guess!
That leads me to today...I have been down in the dumps. Draggin my butt and just sad I guess you could say. I pushed through it yesterday and rode my inside bike for 75 minutes straight. I reminded myself that that was one reason I started riding again, to work off emotions. When I am mad I ride, when I am sad I ride, when I am happy I am energized and I ride. So I rode. And it helped. Today, I am weak, not sure if it is the flu that has been going around or me just being out of energy, but I want to ride. I want to keep going forward and not get sucked into the pit of sadness and anger. I want to be energized and happy.
I might try the cauliflower pizza that SP has a recipe of today. Or tomorrow, I think I need to get cauliflower. I need to spark my flame again and burn on. I'm trying.