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A Long, But Worthwhile Afternoon

Monday, June 09, 2014

My Mom has had problems with her left foot for several years. She bought a treadmill which my husband and I set up for her. We were short on time and didn't have a chance to adjust the tension. We told her (emphatically!!!) NOT to get on the Treadmill before we could come back and make the adjustments. She DIDN'T listen!!! She tore a tendon (this happened about 14 years ago and the opperation which would have corrected it was NOT available at the time. Over the years it has been painful, is now deformed, and has affected her ability to walk normally. Two years ago, we took her to a Vein Specialist, who recommended that she have a blockage corrected that was hampering her circulation in her right leg. She was 88 at the time and said that she DID NOT want surgery at her age. About a month ago, her right ankle and foot became very painful and a redness appeared over her ankle. She can hardly walk now and has to use a walker to go any distance. She knew that she should see a doctor and I suggested a Geriatric Specialist. We went to him today. Her appointment was at 1:45 PM and we were there until 4:30 PM. We saw a Nurse Practitioner, the Geriatric Specialist, and a Social Worker. This time I brought my brother and his wife along. When we were discussing her circulatory problems, he asked her why she did not have the surgery suggested 2 years ago to correct the blockage. Her answer to that has always been, that at her age, she didn't expect to live THAT much longer and did NOT want anymore surgery. His next statement to her was that if she wanted what was left of her life to have quality, she had better get the surgery or she could end up with an amputation which could land her in a nursing home. Then he was called out for a couple of minutes and my brother and I re-enforced what he had said. We tried to tell her that NONE of us knows how much longer we will live and that our goal should be to be as healthy as possible so that our time left is quality time. She finally agreed. She lives in an apartment and loves it and her neighbors. She wants to stay there as long as possible. This is a great motivator. My brother and his wife and my husband and I are going to work as a team to do everything we can to allow her to stay in this apartment for as long as she can. We will do her grocery shopping, take her to all appointments, do her laundry, and anything else that she is physically unable to do at this time. She is sharp mentally, does all of her own cooking (and eats very well-balanced, nutritious meals), keeps good track of her medications, is able to care for herself physically, is very social, and is very close to her neighbors. I consider all of the time we spent today to have been very WORTHWHILE. I think that we finally got through to her. This is a different role for my brother and I. She always held our hands..........Now we are holding hers.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Blessings to you ............ My Mother INSISTED that if my Dad ever passed before her .......... she would be right behind him; as she had nothing more to live for. He has been gone 12 years now and she is 92 ............ and NOT happy, but we can't predict when our departure day will be ........... emoticon and wishing you the best here.
    2009 days ago
    God Bless You! It is so hard to convince an aging parent sometimes, especially when it is something they feel strongly about! I will send prayers that she will do well, and will have a swift recovery and increased mobility! You and your brother are good people. I see so many people stick their parents in a home when what they really need is just a little extra care - the things you are doing to keep your mom in her home.

    Have a wonderful day, my friend!
    2010 days ago
    I had the privilege of taking care of my aging parents (both died last year), and it was sometimes stressful, but very rewarding. So worth it to make sure they felt loved and cared for during their final years of life.

    It is so awesome that you are there for your mother and live close to be able to help her. I hope her surgery goes well and she makes a full recovery. Best wishes for you and your family.

    2010 days ago
    Hi Patti, emoticon

    That is so awesome for you guys to be able to hold her hands now! I wish I live nearer to my Mom...

    God bless you and your family!


    2010 days ago
    What a lovely blog! It's a real privilege to be able to give back some of the care that your mother gave you.

    She sounds like a delightful woman.

    Hugs, Gail
    2010 days ago
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    2010 days ago
    and you wonder why you have a headache.....yikes.

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