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i would dig my heel in, if i could feel it!!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

No matter what I do, I never feel like I am doing enough.
Or, I never feel like I am doing the right thing.
I have two good days then a bad day. the day after a bad day, I say ok, today is a new day, but is it really???
Can you really undo the damage of two bad days in four good days??
Other than making you feel better physically, but the emotional damage is still there.
I had a conversation today with a young man, my sons age, who is a nurse, and a fine young man, rides motorcycles and walks and enjoys life.
Yet he is so unhappy with his physical appearance, that he is comtemplating wls and I dont think he needs it.
Of course, I would not discourage him, I merely just told him of my own struggle with weight loss and how wls isnt an end to a problem.
it is just a beginning.
i just advised him to really work hard leading up to his surgery and make sure he works on the mental first.
now if only i could take my own advice.
i dont know how to do the physical most of the time.
i havent walked all week due to my foot, its still numb.
i am still wearing the bone growth stimulator at night, hoping to make it thru vacation with no worse problems.
not really knowing what caused it, pinched nerve???
but where?
no pain elsewhere.
my life is a daily uphill climb, always digging in and clawing to hang on.
lately i find every meal, every snack an emotional uphill climb.
as the days got close toward vacation and i realized i had slacked, and wasnt really going to catch up or lose any significant amount of weight, i guess i just decided not to stress over it.
but rather, to just put it on the back burner, but i never really do.
its always right there.
right in my face, in the mirror, in the refridge, in my numb foot, and in my clothes, in here, on sp, everywhere.
sometimes i wonder if i made the right decision or if my young friend knows more than i ???
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SOFT_VAL67
    thank everyone for the comments. and i agree, WLS isnt a solution. but going thru the process of preperation 3 years ago is what lead me to finally see the light and start learning how to eat and how to exercise.
    for the first time in years i seen what could be done if one had the willingness to put in the effort.
    i did not go thru with the surgery and i am glad of that decision.
    i have so many friends who did and later regretted it, and a few who did and have gone on to great health.
    it isnt for me, sometimes i get discouraged with my struggle and think about it, but i know that is just my fear and desperation.
    i am not ever never ever giving up on my quest to lose weight and get healthier.
    thanks again everyone.
    2311 days ago
    Hope your foot feels better. Sorry you haven't been able to walk much. Baby steps.
    I haven't made progress in the weight loss either emoticon
    2311 days ago
    if the good days outnumber the bad then you are doing ok. This journey is always going to be about balance, perfection is a goal that's main outcome is to leave us all feeling like we come up short and are inadequate. I mean never having a bad day again, impossible! So with that in mind don't think down on yourself for being...pretty much like everyone else. keep on keepin on, it does make a difference as that's four days of healthy which is always better than 7 days of unhealthy!
    2311 days ago
    SP had a quote that really hit home for me today: "Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight loss is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard!"

    We all struggle at times, and lapse at times. Forgive yourself and move on. If you had 4 good days and 2 bad days -- well that's better than 7 bad days or just giving up!

    2311 days ago
  • GORDON66
    I have two friends who've had weight loss surgery, and neither one of them kept the weight off. It's not a quick fix, and it's dangerous. If the relationship with food doesn't change, no amount a surgery is going to make anyone thin.
    2311 days ago
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