PROJECT_SUSAN
1-99 SparkPoints 56
SparkPoints
 

Day 4 of 100 Days to a New & Healthier ME

Sunday, June 29, 2014

So let's get right into it.

Tracking - emoticon
Within calorie range emoticon
Exercise emoticon I even got in some ST!

This was another day of having to drag myself through. It might be because I want to get some things done around the house and I am not getting them done. It might be because I have had 2 really late nights and tonight is another one. It could also be because my hubster is now really confused about whether he is released to go back to work or not. Okay so maybe it is all of those things.

I have to give myself a break. Yes I did take some time out for myself but I let some crucial things go by the wayside. I think after this blog I will try to get some of them done since I will be up late waiting for my daughter to come home.

I got to thinking about how when I am feeling positive about my weight loss, I can see a difference in other areas of my life. My house begins to look better because I am more likely to clean on a regular basis. When I am not on track with my weight loss, I seem to let everythiing go. This isn't just in regards to myself but my house as well.

It is interesting that there are other things affected by whether I am on track or not. I guess that is all the more reason for me to keep a positive attitude and keep pushing forward. I want to be healthy and I want my house to be a comfortable place for me and my family.

I hardly ever get company but I know that when I do, I get embarrassed when the house is messy. It is the same feeling I get about being over weight and being out around people. I get embarrassed that I look the way I do. I wonder what people are thinking/saying about me. I think that is exactly where the anxiety/panic disorder came from.

Now, I am working on not thinking about what everyone else might be thinking/saying about me. Every once in a while, I might go outside and start thinking that my neighbors are all looking out the window at the same time and they are talking about me. I have come to realize that just like I don't stand at my window all day looking at them, they aren't doing that to me! I am NOT that interesting! emoticon

I always seem to return to one important thing and that is keeping a positive attitude. It is so crucial. If I beat myself up and think/say negative things, I get off track, eat out of control, and eventually stop doing all the things I need to do to lose the weight.

When I am positive about myself and my journey, I am more likely to stretch to the next level. I stay on track. I encourage and motivate myself. I can see myself reaching my goals. I can talk myself down from that bag of Doritos and let me tell you that isn't an easy task! emoticon

Today I started to give up on myself (yes you read that right) I had to turn those thoughts around and refocus myself and think positive thoughts. I am not sure just what triggered the negative thoughts but I was on the "I don't want to do this, who cares" detour and I had to find the exit ramp quick fast and in a hurry!!!

I care and I DO want to do this. It isn't easy and I might not do everything perfectly but I can do it, I must do it, and I will do it!! It isn't about being perfect or copying someone else. It isn't about trying to meet everyone else's expectations. It is about getting healthy. It is about persistence. It is about making this a lifestyle and not a diet. It is about making this lifestyle fit me and what I need to get me to that healthy place. It is about getting off the medicines (again). It is about getting to where I can keep up with Marlie. I have a LONG list of what this is all about and what I will gain or be able to do as I lose this weight. Hmmm maybe I should look over that list when those negative thoughts try to push their way around!

Alright ladies and gentlemen, I have got to go. Be sure to check out the next episode! Boy my fingers are tired. I need to figure out this camera so I can do this in a vlog!

Much love!

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD14566395
    And what if they did look. It does not matter what anyone else thinks hold your head high and act like there not even worth your time cause you know what they are not. Most likely though your head is talking to you and fighting with you to get you off track of what YOU need to do. That is the little demon inside us all and it wants you to fail. You have the right attitude to fight it off also a wonderful idea about a positive list about yourself. I need to use that one so I can look at it. I am cheering you on cause with that attitude before you know it amazing things will start happening. I loved reading this blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2232 days ago
  • _MOBII_
    Although you ARE interesting, you are right...they aren't all looking out their windows at you! emoticon

    I do the same thing...I project my negative self thoughts onto other people...surely they MUST think this about me...but I have learned to identify this when I am doing it, and if I don't correct myself, I give myself permission to not give a rats butt what anyone else thinks anyways!
    emoticon
    2232 days ago
  • MCJOYFUL
    What we say to ourselves is so important. You did such a good job at turning the negative self-talk around! You are doing great! emoticon
    2232 days ago
  • LIVEDAILY
    It is a very good idea to actually make as list and post it where you will see it as a reminder. I have lists posted on the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator/freezer, by the computer, in my wallet, on the front page of my day timer. I refer to them often.
    2233 days ago
  • MIDORI_SPARK
    Very well articulated. I have the same issue: if I let my health go, I let everything go. It all ties in together (at least for me). But once you get back on track it feels like you can do anything!

    Very well done, you should be proud of yourself for the steps you are taking and the ground you've covered. emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    IM,

    You're preaching to the choir, with me. I've been where you are, and I'm there again. I've learned the hard way, not to get down on self, as all it did was push me down in the dirt, with somebody's shoe on the back of my neck, where I couldn't get up.

    Right now, I've been sidelined because of my heart. I'm waiting to have heart surgery, and in the mean time, I'm not allowed to do ANTHING. I went from over 25,000 steps a day, Curves two times a day, water aerobics, step aerobics, eight training and doing 5Ks on the weekend, to NOTHING! If I get a few thousand steps, that's good for me, as it's so hard for me to move, because of my heart. I wonder what people are thinking about me not exercising. I wonder if they're thinking I'm lazy or did I just give up.

    But you know what? I realized that none of that matters. Not one single solitary bit! God knew all about us and what we would do, before the earth was even formed. God holds us in the palm of his hand, lest we dash our foot against a stone. God has our back, ALWAYS! God wants the best for you and me, and not having a Temple that's in Divine Order, isn't God's best. He strengthens and nourishes us and keeps us going, even when we're in the valley, He's right there, holding us with his mighty right hand! God's just molding re-molding, and tweaking these Temples of his to get them in Divine Order. With God on our side, we CAN'T lose. Give a listen to this song, by Matt Redman, and see how God takes care of us!

    http://www.youtube.com/w
    atch?v=NM14VZVu0og&feature=kpR>
    God keep tweaking your Temple, that you put me in charge of. I know You know the end of who, what, where, and why, but all I need to do is look to You, ALWAYS!!!

    Be blessed,

    - Nancy Jean -
    GA
    2233 days ago
  • JENNEINAZ
    Positive attitude helps everything!
    2233 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14269091
    emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • GUTZYNGLAM
    emoticon emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • SHARON-2020
    emoticon What a great attitude!
    2233 days ago
  • SUNRISE141
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    First off, you are amazing. That's a given. Doing stuff when we simply don't want to is the pits, and you got it done! Okay, I like that when you are doing well with weight loss your house does well too... my house is a mess whether I am spot on or not. The funny part is, when I'm spot on with weight loss I feel like I'm too busy to clean but we both know that's not true. emoticon Plus that is more activity added to my day so I really gotta do it.

    Congrats on the strength training, we are going to build up, I have my plan of action ready to rock and roll too, so I will try not to let you down.

    You have amazing goals that go beyond numbers.. numbers on a scale or an item of clothing are great, but the real goals are what counts. Getting off medication, feeling comfortable going out and not worrying what others might be thinking (well we are going to work on not giving a rats butt what others are thinking regardless, but with weight loss comes strength and extra confidence which will help), and to have a long happy life with your beautiful family! That is what counts... you want to be at Marlie's wedding all those years from now, once she decided which of the boys fighting over here it'll be. emoticon

    Oh and BIG BONUS POINTS (I almost called them brownie points but that made me hungry) for shutting down the negative thoughts! It is so easy to let them win but you fought them and won! emoticon emoticon
    2233 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by PROJECT_SUSAN