The Year of Living Better - Day 3
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Day 3 pretty well in the bag! Three days may not seem like much to some, but for me, it may as well be a year. It's been soooo long since I finished even a single day "on track". In the past, something would happen (work, family, money...) and I would let it undo me.
Something feels different. I've got so much going on right now that I could classify as "stress" but, I don't FEEL it. I think trying to be a cheerleader for my mom is starting to have an effect on me. I'm starting to listen, to really hear and to believe in the words I'm saying. I guess I am saying them as much to myself as I am to her.
When my mom was having a melt down recently, I grabbed her hands and looked her straight in the eyes and asked her "Mom, have you ever NOT made it through a day? Of course not, and you have survived through much worse than this." And even as I said it to her, I knew the same was true for me. I used to believe I was strong. Then I forgot. The last year and a half has been pretty tough and I had been indulging myself in little pity parties on and off. Even allowing myself to think things like, "I can't take any more". These past couple of months though, I've also been able to take a deep breath and tell myself I didn't have the luxury of falling apart. Nothing is final on this earth but death. There's a problem to solve. There are choices. None of them may be the choices I want. But there are choices to be made.
I feel strong today. I feel in control. I know that not every day will be perfect, but that's OK. I'm not after perfect. I'm after better. This year, for me, it's all about perspective. I remember now, that I am strong. Whatever comes, I will face head on standing tall with my shoulders back. I got this!