I have just had a lovely weekend - all to myself, and I got to do things when i wanted to, and I have achieved a lot of things that I wanted and needed to do. I didn't get enough time to go and take the long walk that I planned, though I did get a walk in the sunshine that was just lovely. So why do I feel meh?!
I am so lucky - I have a cute little sports car, my cat, I get to ski and sail, I live in Edinburgh in Scotland, I am on the mend after a spell with cancer, and I have a wide circle of friends and supporters.
So what's wrong?
well, I think it comes down to one major thing - I can't sleep. I can't tell you the last time that I slept all night, and whilst the 'SparkPeople Official Sleep Challenge' has been helpful, it just hasn't sorted me out.
I know that I am very stressed for much of the time - my job is extremely difficult and takes all of my brain power, and I am often working in the evening and at weekends. I don't get much down time, so I signed up to the 'SP Official Stress Busting Challenge' to help me sort out my stress, and like the sleep challenge, it has helped a bit.
So, if I can sort out my sleep, learn to relax more, and keep an eye on my diet and exercise. I need exercise to help me work out my demons, but I don't get enough time to take significant exercise or relax, if I'm completely honest.
So what to do?
I'm going to think about it this week, and come up with some kind of an action plan that is workable and practical.
I'm not being unrealistic - I know there will be difficult days, and days when only sandwiches and chocolate are available, but I need to keep some ambition there to keep me going.
I also need to look at my head - I feel really blue and unsure, and just so tired.
One step at a time, and one day at time.