on this day
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
It is this time of year. This month. September. Almost every day holds some memory, someones birth, or death, anniversary.
The 10th thru the 14th especially hold special memories for me.
I am not sure what date it was, probably around the 2nd of 2012 that my car window got busted out by a stray rock thrown off the weedeater of one of the city work crew.
He was out there today cutting weeds while I walked.
Took me back to all the days I have walked, things I have seen, people I have met.
I spoke to one of the regulars this morning, who has been there almost every day I have been.
It was two years ago, when I really got serious about this.
I changed my mind about having WLS and decided to try once again for myself.
I do not regret that decision.
However, sometimes I think about going back and doing it.
As I am now struggling. But I have been for sometime.
Today is a good day.
I walked and so far I am sticking to my food plan and feeling good. I know there will be good days and bad days, but I have to get over this damn hurdle I have been trying to get over for too long.
No more accepting that I am a certain weight and am merely maintaining.
I want to lose!!
I need to lose, my weight I carry is solid weight. I do not even have much loose skin or sagging from the weight I have lost so far.
My doctor told me that my weight is solid weight, and mostly it is centered in my stomach.
Which is the hardest weight to lose.
I think about having the surgery, merely to lose as much as I can off my stomach and continue working hard at exercise to maintain what muscle I can.
I will just have to decide soon, but for now, I am going to start back focusing on my weight lifting.
I need to get toned again.
I am feeling a little tired already today but my house is a pig sty and therefore I have to clean.
But as I look out my front door on this lovely fall day, I just want to go out there and be in the sun with the wind blowing and I want so badly to visit the park where I used to go hang out with a lost friend.
But now, not only is the friend gone, but the park is as well, at least that section where we used to hang out and talk and walk and so many happy memories of mine are there.
New road and bridge work have pushed dirt and rock over top of it.
Which is perhaps a fitting send off to those memories, of September days gone past.
Time to make new memories of new Sept days.
and hopefully look back on these in a few years as when I USED to be overweight.
I just want to lose weight, is that too much to ask???