I somewhat lost my way between August and now. I could look to my kids moving as an excuse, or my kids starting school, or my father traveling and my mom being home alone and falling all the time, or my husband working more than usual, or my brother having surgery...but I have to take responsibility for my own actions. I DO get lost in my life and forget or choose to not take care of me.
I have done some things to continue my positive journey though. I did not fall totally off the wagon with my eating. I do feel guilt and am curious how my cholesterol levels may have changed or my A1C that I worked so hard to lower will change. I wont find those out until the day before Thanksgiving. That is my next doctor appointment. Which brings me to a point about myself that I realize. When I have my life going in the right direction I tend to sabotage myself and make everything go down hill again. Why do I do this? I had a life of being beat down one way or another by my family, men in my life, or teachers. I guess I got it instilled in me somehow that I don't deserve to have my life go well. I KNOW this is not true. I deserve to be happy and healthy and have my life go well! I get tripped up on it when I see my potential sometimes though. I will continue to work on overcoming that hurdle in my personality.
Anyway, back to what I have been doing. I took back my house!!! My oldest son moves out next Wednesday into his own place for the first time, and my middle son moved out the end of August. So that leaves me, my hubby and my youngest son. I wasted no time switching the two bedrooms and choosing to turn the 3rd bedroom that is very small into a walk in closet. Now, this project is not complete yet! BUT I made absolutely sure to make such progress that I really felt I made a big change. So Almost everything is switched into the correct room, and treatment of the walls has started! With not being well off financially we do things as we can afford them. So our bedroom like half painted lol. The left side is the before and the right side is the after. I think we will go for a fresh modern look in our room of light gray and white with a pop of color that can be changed out for a fresh clean look. My son is having fun creating space for just himself, no sharing with his older brothers! He chose to do a Lego colored room! I think this is fabulous. He has had fun painting vibrant colors and being creative. I also cleared out the living room and pared down the furniture in there! I think with our deep burgundy carpet we will eventually go back to the off white furniture we used to have. We have been looking for furniture to replace what we have.
So, as you can see, I have kept busy! I HAVE had fun reinventing my home. I made sure I did not just sit around, but do feel guilty that I did not do my normal fitness routine every day. I know it is okay to take a break, but I admit, I got carried away with it and took it for granted and my blood sugar level and weight reflect that. BUT NO MORE! Back on the bike! Back watching what I eat better! AND TREATS ARE JUST THAT! TREATS! NOT EVERYDAY FOOD!
Fall is here, and I absolutely LOVE fall! I have my windows and doors open, fans going letting the fresh cool air in. I look forward to the fall farmer's markets that I pray I get to go to. My wheels are turning about the things I can make with the fresh veggies that fall gives us. Over the summer a friend provided so much to us like tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. I made salsa so much! Nothing like fresh salsa. I made chili when I had a ton of tomatoes.
Ok, those are todays thoughts. Well one more.....TODAY, WILL BE A GOOD DAY! I choose that thought. And I choose to make the healthy decisions for myself today. I already did an hour on the bike and feel great about it.