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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The past few days I've been struggling with some pretty negative feelings - things like feeling "less than", feeling inadequate and like a misfit - like I don't fit anywhere - remembering old hurtful things that people said even from when I was young and refeeling some of the shame from those comments. Boy, once that starts, it can be a pretty quick downward spiral. I know what started it - I handled a situation poorly when I was out shopping on Sunday and I was embarrassed at how I handled it. Then old feelings of shame came back up and it went down from there. What's ironic, is that even though I was in the wrong on Sunday, the old feelings of shame weren't from something I had done wrong - they were more of just hurtful things said to me.

About halfway through the day, I started to come out of it. I was listening to music at work and one of the songs was Jamie Grace's "Every Bit of Lovely". It was a great reminder that I'm God's original work of art - quirks and all. I am not perfect and never will be. But that doesn't make me of any less value.

And then one of my SparkFriends left this quote on my SparkPage:
“Stop wasting so much energy hating your body; it makes you weaker.
Everything good in your life begins from the moment you begin accepting, understanding, respecting, and loving your true self.”
-Harry Papas
Thanks PIXIE-LICIOUS! I needed that reminder today and when I read it, I thought of it in terms of not just to stop wasting so much energy hating my body but also hating (or feeling ashamed) of who I am. Yep, I've wasted enough energy on that.

And then my SparkFriend DAISYBELLEKIA posted a blog on change and it had this quote in it:

So true! If all you look at is the rear-view mirror when you're driving, the only place you'll end up is in the back end of another car. The same goes with life. I think it's good to learn from our past, but not to live in the past. And that's what I've been doing the past few days.

But now I'm done. My past may have shaped me, but it doesn't need to define me. God's already done that and through His eyes - I'm pretty awesome.

Thanks my SparkFriends - you never know when something you post hits someone right where they are - when your words might just be what that person needs at that moment. Your sharing part of you can have a huge impact in someone else's life.

I know I have been truly blessed time and time again here.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AURA18
    Yes seize the Day! Take it easy emoticon emoticon
    2387 days ago
    Anytime :) That's why I try and post an inspirational quote blog every help and encourage anyone who reads it, but also to help and encourage me and to keep me focused!

    Thank you for sharing that it helped you :) That helps me! It's a great cycle :)
    2388 days ago
    2388 days ago
    Great blog. I know what you mean about all the mean, hateful things coming back to you that were said in your youth. I wish I could forget those things, my husband does too; he has been trying for almost 30 years to undo those words with kind words.
    2388 days ago
  • DTHOR6
    Love this!!! Very well said. Thanks for sharing.

    2388 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14561314
    My goodness, I had almost the same exact experience on Monday. I said something that I wished I hadn't while I was out running errands and it threw me into a funk for quite awhile. What happened wasn't a big deal but it sure hit a tender spot in me. I like the conclusions you came to about it. Instead of beating ourselves up for not being perfect, I think its important to remember that we can't be, and that's just fine. :)
    2389 days ago
    So many of us need a magic wand we could wave when the old thought monsters invade our space and make them disappear. Since we don't we get to learn to live with them, learn to turn them around and refuse to give them power. Easier said than done for sure. You are an awesome person and are definitely working our how to quiet those negative demons! Keep it up beautiful lady!
    2389 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14269091
    In OUR eyes, you are pretty emoticon ! Remember that, my friend!

    2389 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8658467
    Love this blog! emoticon emoticon
    2389 days ago
    2389 days ago
    Once again Michelle, you expressed yourself beautifully. emoticon I love your blogs! I take away something every time that helps me. emoticon
    2389 days ago
    Spark friends are great, right?
    2389 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    Yay for you sweetie! I love all my SP friends because just like you have discovered, you can come on here and something someone has said will just trigger a release of the bad stuff you've been feeling! I am so glad you realized that you are perfect in God's eyes! I have been on that roller coaster that takes you back in time and it's hard to get out of that old "way back machine" so glad you did!
    2389 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2389 days ago
  • LINDA!
    2389 days ago
  • .DUSTY.
    emoticon You!
    2389 days ago
    Some great quotes here. Thanks for sharing! Breaking the pattern of negative self-talk, and/or shame seems to be a trend on spark today. We all fall into it, we can all pull out of it. Thanks for the inspiration!!

    emoticon emoticon
    2389 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    "God don't make no junk."

    I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
    Psalm 139:14 (KJV)

    Someday when you have some time (and if you are interested), read Phillip Yancey's book "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made." Its contents will amaze you. You will be astounded at all that God has done to put you together just the way you are - the way He wanted you to be.
    2389 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14456645
    emoticon methinks u r emoticon too!
    2389 days ago
    emoticon I hate when old feelings haunt me too. I'm glad you got it worked out in your mind emoticon
    2389 days ago
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