Feel Lost

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Hello to all...Its been so long since i have been on here and here is why..Everyone that has read my blog knows that my wife died of sarcoma cancer and i also lost 4 of my best friends in one year...I have two kids to raise and now one is 17 and its finally hit him that mom is not coming home and has meds to help him and counselors and suffers from migraine headaches which we also have meds for that and have changed his food as well..
I have a 13 year old Named Bradley who has autism and last October we found a hole in his heart which will heal over time but they also found cancer in him as well...It's the same as Sheri's and has had 5 rounds of chemo but he thinks the chemo is to fix his heart...He couldn't handle me telling him that he has what mom had so i know its a little lie but i had no choice and his cancer is all gone...I struggle to work and with no help for the kids i am going to have to sell my home and become a full time dad unless i can find something that i can do at home or a new job with flexible hours.. I feel lost every day and have gained the weight back and some more since I found out about brads health...Anyway that's where i have been and i will try to be on here more to get help...Take care everyone and thanks for listening...mark
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  • MUSKY77
    hello to all would love to thank all of you for listening to me and thinking of my family...words cannot express the way i feel and for that i am overwhelmed with people from the sparks community for there support....Thanks you to all...
    2187 days ago
    Praying for strength to help you through all the heartache
    you are experiencing. Please look after yourself so that you
    can be there for your boys. emoticon emoticon
    2249 days ago
  • JAMER123
    Mark, I don't have to words to give you the comfort you need. I am so sorry that you are again put into a horrible situation. Please know we are all here to listen & try to help as we can. You are strong. You have come through so much since you last blogged. I was just thinking about you the last couple days and prayed that you were okay. I am glad you shared today.You need to take care of yourself to be able to help your sons. Even though one is 17, he is at a very delicate age of stability. I will keep you and your sons emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon in my thoughts & prayers for things to improve for you. I hope that you will find a job that you can work at from home so that Bradley has the support he needs as well. God bless!
    2249 days ago
  • BERRY4
    Words don't replace people... and we all need love and caring. We can type our caring and prayers for you, but I hope and pray that you will find those who will help you with your "mountain" of grief and hug at a time. (That was written by a father who had lost both of his young adult sons. He got it. He's walked it. He knows how hard it is to go from day to day.)

    May you find moments to look upward and outward to see those who would help and care and be available to you and your kids. May God bring them to you when you most need a helping hand.
    2249 days ago
    Sending you so many positive thoughts and prayers.
    2249 days ago
    I sincerely pray that you can find a support network to lessen your caregiving duties either through the church or the cancer center or your local public health department. You and the boys deserve that. I am just so sorry, but words are totally inadequate.
    2249 days ago
    Hang in there - you can get through this!

    First of all, the cancer centre where Bradley is being treated should have financial counselors available for you to visit - get in there and see what your options are before thinking about selling your house.

    Secondly, while you are there, see if there is physical therapy available as an adjunct to the other counseling for both of the boys and you. A lot of the cancer centres now have that as part of their therapy services, so should be available either free of charge or with reduced fees.

    Finally, major kudos for getting through all that you have done, and for reaching out for the help that we all need. You have done some amazing things in support of your boys, but it might be time to take a bit of time to support yourself for a little bit (first rule: always take care of the caregiver first). Maybe see if someone in your family can take a day or two each week, or if home-care can work with you to at least give you a respite vacation for a week or two. You need some time to just grieve and recover your strength to move on, so call in every possible bit of help to give that to yourself.

    Strong thoughts to you!
    2249 days ago
    Mark, I send you much love and my prayers. I wish that I knew you personally so that I could be of more help to you. My heart aches for you and all that you and your family are going through. emoticon
    2249 days ago
    Oh my goodness gracious, I will try to keep you in my prayers. Life has been very hard on you and your children. Raising my normal 17 year old, with my husband is very hard, I can't imagine doing it as a single parent due to death of spouse.
    2250 days ago
    Mark, is there a way you can create a support system through nearby churches or non-profits? This is way too much for one person to deal with and I'm very sorry to hear it. Will send positive energy your way; feel so helpless in times like these.
    2250 days ago
    Mark -- you are carrying around a lot. Not just the physical weight but you are also carrying emotional weight. I am touched by all of the pain you have recently experienced. Just ONE of those things would be enough to devastate a person. I am so sorry to hear that your wife died. The loss of your friends is horrible. Lastly, the health issues (mental and physical) of the children could be overwhelming. I understand that you want nothing but the best for your sons. But -- Remember that you need to take care of yourself, too. You have made a step towards that by trying to reconnect with your SP friends. Good for you. I wish only the best for you.

    2250 days ago
    Mark - I am so sorry for all your horrible circumstances and tragedies. I dont really have the words to say except I am praying for you and your sons. May you all find health and peace.
    2250 days ago
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