NINJALINDA

SparkPoints
 

This might go long. Bless you if you read to the end.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

My journey here on Sparkpeople (and my life health journey) has been long. It has also come full circle. But that's not the point of this post. Let me explain.

I have always been an active person, but I've been a lot of weights throughout my life. I've been thin and I've been heavy. I've been healthy and I've been unhealthy. Thin hasn't always equaled healthy and heavy hasn't always equaled unhealthy. Four years ago I was thin & healthy (and happy). Then my husband got sick, and died, and I got heavy (and unhappy). Now I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I'm not happy about that, but my life is *ok*. Could be worse.

I'm currently away from home, on travel for work. Travel to an area that's not too far from home, but far enough that you don't go there in the normal course of everyday life. I have a facebook friend that lives in this area. This friend was actually more than a friend long ago (college), but our lives took different paths after college, and we hadn't seen each other since then. Now I'm a widow, and he's married.

We decided to meet up, neither knowing quite what to expect. We had parted friends, but that was 30 years ago. Would we have anything in common? Would we still 'click?' It was a crap shoot, but we forged ahead to see.

It was a wonderful meeting. The years melted away and we talked for hours. It was like we hadn't had the 30 year break. And on a very personal level, I no longer felt like the *fat* person I feel like so often now. I just felt like me. Funny how it takes someone from so long ago to bring that out.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this blog. One thing I do know is - take that chance. It was risky to meet my old friend/lover, but it was SO worth it. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to have someone view/think of you like THAT. We remained at a friend level, which is all we can be at this time, but the sparks were still there. I had forgotten that someone could look at me and have sparks...

It's nice to remember that I have worth as a person, and can even be thought of as attractive and sexy, when I don't meet the standard definition.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RALKINGCHICK
    You're awesome.
    1870 days ago
  • WONDERWOMAN
    I loved this post! You made my day.
    1961 days ago
  • BBAHONORS
    emoticon

    I'm so glad you decided to go out on a limb and meet up with your old friend. Oftentimes, the riskiest ventures hold the greatest rewards!
    1961 days ago
  • -POLEDANCEGIRL-
    That is amazing! What a wonderful feeling for you. I am so happy that you felt like you
    1961 days ago
  • ARUNNINGKAT
    I have heard it said that the key to this entire health and weight-loss journey is self-love. I am so glad you were able to realize your true value and beauty as a person. And how wonderful to meet up with someone from your past who sees your beauty and makes you feel so alive!
    1962 days ago
  • NANADERRICK
    WOW...that brought tears to my eyes. You are a beautiful person, heavy or thin, healthy or not. You dealt with tragic events in your life with dignity and composure and remained available to your children in the midst of that horrible, life-changing event. So, it has taken a toll; so, it has been rough since; so, you are struggling on many fronts; so...you are so worth every ounce of effort it takes to get back to your happy place. You are one of the most fun people I have ever been around. You can see things from many points of view and understand the differences. You can allow those differences and not crack=up. You just keep on with this struggle. You have much, much more going for you than the average woman. I know that you are going to emerge in your happy place. Keep the faith. Even if you cant see it, don't feel it...you ARE moving forward. I am looking forward to seeing where life takes you and the rest of the story!!! Love you Sister Linda!!!!!
    1962 days ago
  • KNEEMAKER
    Beauty is within much more than what is on the outside. I'm a man and I know for certain. Good luck and just Keep on keeping on! It is your life and you must enjoy each second of it. Thanks for sharing. emoticon
    1962 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by NINJALINDA